Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 30 Dec 05)

Really Bad Signs You Went Overboard On Presents This Year

I can't even afford to submit this entry. (humorlessoffline@aol.com)

Look honey, a new Xbox 360 for the kids.... (next year I should really get kids) (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

You open your bank statement, holler "ho Ho HOOOO," and pass out. (lacee7700@aol.com)

Corporate name changed to "DeweyCard". (deweywins@yahoo.com) Oh yeah? I use a "Leis-a". Hey, I coulda said something about a MasterCad...but I didn't. ;)

Credit card shows scorch marks. (fparsons@yahoo.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

You get more than one card reading, "Thank You for the wonderful gift. Where do I know you from?" (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

Just after I left, Wal-Mart closed their doors and said "We're done, we've made our month." (skibip@aol.com) One less Wal-Mart's a Really Good thing!

Your visa has you on suicide watch. (edprocoat@msn.com)

Hackers put out word not to steal your identity...you have nothing left to steal but debt! (maxcel200@aol.com)

You get pages of e-mails from "dersantameister001@polenorth.net", warning you to cease and desist. (monacof@bellsouth.net)

I spent $1245 this year- just on bows. (monetmonet@artlover.com) Geez...do like my parents did...saved every single bow since 1953.

You stop setting your alarm clock, knowing full well that someone from Visa, Mastercard, or American Express will be calling before 9 AM. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

I swear I put the tree here somewhere... (jaberwok@marktwain.net)

American Express has just taken away your first-born. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com) Phew! For a second there, I thought it said, "your first PORN".

After I was done wrapping all the gifts, I had enough paper tubes to build a log cabin. (mimsydivine@earthlink.net)

You're living in the box your mom's new refrigerator came in. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com) Hey, in New York that would cost you two grand a month to rent.

The pile under the tree can be seen from space. (rampage1984@msn.com)

Alan Greenspan mentions you by name in his economic analysis speeches. (archerjoe@hotmail.com; parlansharvest@yahoo.com)

The winners:

Well, until I shave my fluffy beard, there IS a resemblance...

The post office forwarded all the letters to Santa and God to you. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

Which is pretty difficult in Alabama...since they DON'T HAVE ONE...

The only realistic plan you can come up with for paying all your credit cards back down is to win the lottery. (sootnmoopy@aol.com; monetmonet@artlover.com)