Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 30 Jul 03)

Really Bad Things To Say To Your Driving Test Examiner
(Topic Suggested by: ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

Okay, this week's ReBa is a little longer than usual, as it ran longer than it should...thanks to Leis' return trip to the hospital. Sheesh...anything to get out of doing work. Nah, just messing with you, Leis, but we hope you are home and back to your "normal" self again in no time. Anyway, instead of delaying it any longer, I winged it myself - or is that "wonged it"...

How many times can I fail before I'm not allowed to try again? (gonnabmeeee@aol.com)

If I black out, go ahead and grab the wheel for me. Don't worry, it doesn't happen that often. (murdoctor@aol.com)

Don't pay any attention to the muffled yelling coming from the trunk...it's all in your head. (silver_stars42@yahoo.com)

Do you know how to get blood stains out of a trunk? I mean, like a lot of blood. (carissa_chris@hotmail.com) I woulda figured watching "Pulp Fiction" should have answered this one.

The one that's up and down. Is that the brake....or is it the 'go faster'? (lhill@maguiregroup.com)

I used to have a driving phobia, until they came and made me all better.....shut up! I said shut up! Excuse me, Leo doesn't like it when he doesn't get to drive. (kaylor@mail.com)

I had plenty of experience with cars. I saw "The Fast and the Furious" 16 times. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

They have brakes, they'll stop. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) Dad??

Hold on tight...I think they wanna race. (xslickdaddiex@aol.com)

I like to have a few beers before these things. Helps me relax! (n_zukowski@hotmail.com; steve_medel@oxy.com)

Is it true that all you guys are people that couldn't make it as a cop? (bonzo7@yahoo.com)

Do you grade on a "curve"? (alohacat@mindspring.com) This one wins the "Cutesy Award" this time around.

Ever see that movie "The French Connection"? Wanna live it? (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

"This is the song that never ends..." (scalpel@aol.com)

Does my breath smell like beer or do I need another breath mint? (Saxonraerae7@aol.com)

I'll get close, you get 'em with the door! (strollo5@aol.com; ubinrude@peoplepc.com)

After last week, I know that when the sign says stop it means STOP. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

Hope you have insurance. (howardtheduck86@yahoo.com)

You aren't gonna be like the last two and jump out of the car screaming, are ya? (murdoctor@aol.com)

Calm down, we'll be off the runway in a few minutes! (kaylor@mail.com)

Can we take your car? I don't want to get that funny smell in mine. (SpinyNorma@aol.com) Ahh...brings back memories of "Seinfeld".

Duck down! That's my probation officer! (BPaul317@aol.com)

Ya'know, the sidewalk should really be a third lane. (kaylor@mail.com)

Just let me fix this mirror so I can see down your blouse. (n_zukowski@hotmail.com)

Before we begin, can I rub your bald spot for luck? (kaylor@mail.com)

All-RIGHT! I've been practicing for this by playing Grand Theft Auto! (ukkfayooyay@aol.com; spamalope@access4less.net)

School zone, schmool zone! I gotta be in traffic court by 3:00! (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

SHUT THE F*** UP! I am trying to hear my new Snoop Dogg CD. (lhill@maguiregroup.com)

Don't worry I've been backing the car out of the driveway since I was three. (sidefoot007@hotmail.com)

And the "coupe" de grâce ...so to speak...

If you're going to criticize my driving, then get your ass in the back seat. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)