Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 3 Aug 03)

Well, unfortunately Mark aka Leis is still in the hospital...and probably will be for a while again I have decided to go it alone and update ReBa. If you wish to send a "Get Well" card to him...please send it to our HMO address, and I will send them forth to him. The address can be found on our Home Page.

Really Bad Signs You're Addicted to Daytime TV

"Just because I got pregnant, killed my husband, and overdosed on pain killers, doesn't mean I'm addicted to soap operas..." (

TV dinners mean just that. I have two chest freezers filled for all meals. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

You're disappointed your family is so boring with no evil twins, long lost children, etc. (

You can find a Springer "Final thought" for any occasion ( I can just see that line of "Dysfunctional Greeting Cards" now...hey wait...this could actually be a Tweak idea!

You volunteered to work swing shift solely as to not miss one episode. (

You date all of your kid's boyfriends and girlfriends because hey....everybody's doing it!! (

Every time you look around at Wal-Mart, you have to fight the urge to start chanting, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" (

Swore off sex until Susan Lucci got her Emmy. ( Yeah right...everyone's gotta blame something.

You have a habit of responding to your friend entering the room by chanting their first name over and over. (

You're too upset to submit a ReBa because Katherine had a stroke when she found out that Jill was her long lost daughter and Billy and Mackenzie can't get married because they're cousins and Nick walked in on his wife kissing his father and Christine thinks she killed.... (

You plug a TV into the cigarette lighter so you can watch while you drive... and you're the SCHOOL-BUS DRIVER! (

You know my kids, Jerry, Geraldo, and Sally Jessie say that I am, but I don't see it. (

You invite friend over for a "SammyBash" and serve "Martimmys" with "Julian" carrots and dip! ( Alas, I actually KNOW what you are saying...ugh.

When you write out your grocery put prices beside the items and you see if you're right when you get there. (

It takes you (

a dozen (

entries over several days (

to get even one (

point across ( You know, when I first got this entry...I was reading it in reverse order and thought you had completely gone insane.

You re-name your Springer Spaniel, "Jerry". (

You spent your entire vacation looking for Port Charles. (

All your housework is done during commercial breaks. (

Hey, don't can always be on his show with the other 3 people who do too...

You think that having Jerry Springer in the Senate is a pretty good idea. (