Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 4 Jan 04)

Really Bad Titles For Workout/Exercise Videos
(Inspired by zenphoenix@yahoo.com's entry)

You Should Be Working Out Instead Of Trying To Get Sex (with Little Billy "Shoots" Blanks) (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Tons of Buns Pilates (randy.renner@juno.com)

Lorena Bobbit's "Take inches off ANYWHERE" (muck55@aol.com)

The Studs of HMO, exercising their..... funny bones! (AhOLHOL@aol.com) Why, I happen to exercise my bone three, four times a day...

Yoga with Yogi: How to Make the Most of your Pic-a-nic (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Roseanne Barr's COWasthenics (HollinsGirl76@aol.com)

7 Steps To Smaller Breasts! (chharget@aol.com)

The OJ Simpson's Guide to Running (redbarron1010@aol.com) "Looking for a killer way to shed those pounds?..."

Buns of Lead (pennhead91@hotmail.com)

Sixty-five Minute Abs (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Marlboro presents: Clutching Your Chest to the Oldies (radlein0897@charter.net)

The Fatkins Diet Workout (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

50 Ways to Leave Your Blubber :) (fattypinkband@bellsouth.net) Cut off the fat, Pat! Let out your pants, Lance! Uh, just stop it already, Freddy.

Michael Jackson's "Sweating to the Youngun's" (Dspur57098@aol.com)

The Iraqi Army Workout: Raise your hands...Higher...Higher...Now hold. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Dr. Phil's Five Minute Abs...but first, are we really being honest with ourselves? (DeepThought07@aol.com)

Deep Knee Bends Starring Monica Lewinsky (ahines3103@aol.com) ...sequel to "How to Look Thin by Sucking It In"?

Get Off Your Lazy Ass and Do Something! (oxxxjynxxxxo@aol.com)

Heavier Steins: The Beer Drinkers' Bicep Solution. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Aerobics for ADHD Sydr...OOO! SHINY!! (zenphoenix@yahoo.com) That was not intended to be offensive in any...OOO! Pretty kitty walked by!

The Oz Shower Workout (Parental Warning: This product has nothing to do with Munchkins, Wicked Witches, or Dorothy) (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

Lift & Jerk with Pee Wee Herman (casstigator@yahoo.com)

Exercises for Extra-sizers (spjk2k@aol.com)

Girls Gone Wild: Takin' It Off (NodMyChin@sbcglobal.net) "Yep...they're 20 years older and at least 20 pounds heavier!"

Jane Fonda's "I Divorced 180 lbs. Workout" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

"Flush Away the Pounds!" with Lara Flynn Boyle (tainsam@aol.com)

Home Crafts presents "How to Lose Tens of Pounds and Make Your Own Soap at the Same Time" (chharget@aol.com) Tallow can you go?

Body by Drakes (smmfd1@aol.com)

Where There's a Will There's a Weight Reduction (chharget@aol.com)

Looking Fab With That Flab (cmb1175@aol.com)

Attractive People Pretending To Show You How To Look Like Them (chharget@aol.com)

The winners:

Well, time to go do my chins-ups!

Lose Ten Pounds in Ten Years for Only Ten Dollars! (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

It's a small goal afterall...

Disney Workout Videos presents: Pilates Of The Caribbean (ldolphin34@hotmail.com; airfarcewon@aol.com)