This year, I'm going to get that rock up this hill! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I will quit saying, "The devil made me do it." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)
Resolve not to keep saying "Whoo! Who cut the cheese?" when you get a good whiff of all that burning sulfur. (email@example.com)
It doesn't matter...because you're married! (firstname.lastname@example.org) This proves I'm already in hell...another "married' entry.
Whenever I see a demon, I will refrain from pointing and making the “Me So ‘Horny’” joke. (email@example.com)
See what a snowball's chance in hell is. (firstname.lastname@example.org) About as much chance as me winning the lottery in Alabama.
This year I'm going to get the furnace repaired. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)
I resolve to quit breathing (email@example.com) With all that sulphur, who can blame you?
Stop smoking,Your body from smoking that is. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; the other 400 or so)
I promise to stop sweating the small stuff... (GerriHan65@aol.com)
To give up gambling...especially with my soul. (Mistahtom@aol.com) Did that Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi channel teach you NOTHING????
3..2..1!! Ok, we're turning down the heat and turning up the Manilow! (Ringo@illuSchoen.net)
Quit ticking off the boss by saying "God damn it" all the time. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Resolve to give Satan the cold shoulder next time you see him. (email@example.com)
This year I WILL get the air conditioning working. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
This year... Ice water! No, really...I meant it. (email@example.com)
In order to "get out there" and make some friends down here, I resolve to accept Lucifer's invitation to a weenie roast. (firstname.lastname@example.org) I predict a nasty surprise for you when you arrive, and everyone but you is wearing a bib...
I resolve, if I ever get out of here, to never run for President again. (Ringo@illuSchoen.net)
While drowning in the eternal river of feces, I will only perform strokes recognized by the International Swimmers Association. (email@example.com)
I'm giving up lawyers. Currently I'm on 50 a day. It's just so tempting, they are everywhere you turn here. (firstname.lastname@example.org) I'm just curious as to what you are doing with them.
Must remember to turn off oven when I leave. (email@example.com)
Resolve to improve the Feng Shui of your particular ring.... (firstname.lastname@example.org) Ooooh...those demons on their heads look soooo much better over there.
Sin more. I mean, you're already in Hell, right? (email@example.com)
I will be less evil. MUHAHA. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Oh yeah, you got ME convinced.
I promise to stop setting off the fire alarm in the 7th Circle as a practical joke. (email@example.com)
Find another way to cook besides barbeque, barbeque, barbeque! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Resolving to stop crying like a baby for your mommy every time your flesh is burnt off of your bones and your limbs are chopped into bits with a dulled axe. Big baby! (email@example.com) Did someone say "barbeque, barbeque, barbeque???" ;)
Will try to stalk old girlfriends using my trained, camcord-toting snow monkey. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I promise not to keep hiding Hitler's electric fan and then blaming Stalin for it. (email@example.com)
Must stay away from the chicks down here, they're all evil! (Ringo@illuSchoen.net)
I promise to put more effort into my eternity of pointless, repetitive tasks. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Uh...hopefully starting with sending in HMO entries! Yeah yeah...you knew it was coming.
SPF 2000 cocoa butter for the kids. The 1500 stuff isn't working. (email@example.com)
To stop selling elevator tickets to the newbies!! (KicknDrummer@MSN.com) Killjoy.
Remind myself it's no longer necessary to tell people to go to hell. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I resolve to stop picking Monty Python-based entries...ooops....
Will stop whistling "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" just to annoy the people around me. (email@example.com)
Even "down there", courtesy counts...
I promise to use my "quiet voice" while I'm screaming in the pain of eternal damnation. (firstname.lastname@example.org)