Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 5 Mar 04)

Really Bad SignsThe Mars Rover Isn't Really On Mars

The "CNN reports from Iraq" in small letters in the corner of the photos. (

Well, it sorta looks like red clay..and the only red clay around these parts is over on the old Evans' place, so that's probably where they're filming it. ( Okay, I'll go find Shaggy and Scooby, and we'll meet you there!

The robotic arm had to be used to peel a discarded Starbucks napkin from the camera lens. (

It runs over a nail and gets a flat. (

Because my friends there tell me so. ( Oddly enough...there was only one of you with this answer....hmmmm.

If you look closely, you will realize "Mars" is just a clever anagram of "Rams" Obviously the Rover is in St. Louis, not another planet. (

A microscopic view of a rock showed it was embossed with a "Made on Mars" sticker. (

Under close civilian inspection, it becomes apparent that there' a reflection of a road sign saying "Welcome To Phoenix" in every shot so far. (

You see the vapor trail from a jet airliner, across one of those pictures of the "Martian Twilight". (

You can see a discarded cigarette butt in one of the panoramic pictures. (; See, this is what happens when you designate every place on Earth as a "no-smoking" zone.

You find "Waldo" in the background. (

NASA Scientists keep saying, "And this next picture shows the rock formations in North Dako...I mean...Mars. Yeah. Mars." (

Same view as the faked moon landing. ( I knew something was amiss when they weren't advertising some nifty new breakfast drink.

Video footage shows it getting pulled over and harassed by the LAPD. (

Okay...lemme run this down...Mars is fifty-million miles away at perigee, right? We sent this thing via solid fuel rocket to Mars, hooked up with it as it made its path around the sun over the course of three years, expelled the payload to the planet's surface with pinpoint accuracy...the thing's working like a charm sending detailed, crisp transmissions from more than A HUNDRED MILLION MILES AWAY AT APOGEE, through the sun's interference and solar flares and all kinds of cosmic static and the noise of the other planets, all sent with the help of a transmitter about the same strength as a ham radio....? Pull the other one, NASA! (

"Can You Hear Me Now?" guy seen walking by. ( Well, I was kinda wondering why I hadn't seen him in a while.

If you look closely at the horizon shots, you can see the shadow of the photographer. (

Very little evidence that Martian life forms would be advanced enough to write "Wash Me" on the back fender skirt. ( Looks like they "keyed" it, too...

You hear a voice say," Move it over there, so Mom doesn't run over it in the van!" (

Val Kilmer is visible beside the rover in a couple pictures. ( Nooooo....please, don't tell me it's a sequel to "Red Planet"!

It showed up last week in a rerun of "Battlebots" - and lost. (

The winners:

Think of it as Mount Yukmore:

Wide shot looks mysteriously like Manuel Noriega's face! (

Well, we can't pull one over on you, can we, Mr. President?

So how are they getting those pictures developed? There ain't no Fotomat on Mars. (