Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 5 May 04)

Really Bad Political Euphemisms For "Having Sex"

Stuffing the Ballot Box (stan@squidworks.com; william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Dark horsing around (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Well, you know what they say about coming up from behind...uh...nevermind.

Crossing the Delaware (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

(Please insert 10,000th hanging chad reference here) (Mikepena@socal.rr.com)

It looks like it's going to be a long filibuster! (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

If you're a Democrat, it's "Dunking the Donkey", and if Republican, it's "Immersing the Elephant". And if you're Ralph Nader's party, it's "Screwing the People". (guitartexn@aol.com) Sayyy, that's catchy!!

He was canvassing her precinct. (skibip@aol.com)

Quorum was reached (chharget@aol.com)

Paying Taxes..that means "Getting Screwed" right? (ChrisAndBrandi69@aol.com)

Up on the Hill (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com) Anita? Clarence, is that you sending in entries?

Debriefing my Aide (chharget@aol.com)

I was in and out of her district campaigning as hard and long as anyone else, trying to drive the message home that economic stimulation needs more than lip service. (twodubbyaz@sbcglobal.net)

If the politician says he's "doing a manual recount", just give him some time alone in the bathroom. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) ...and a dirty magazine.

Pressing the Flesh (atwright73@yahoo.com; ChrisAndBrandi69@aol.com)

On the floor of the House (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Holding Bob Dole's pen. (sunjonesboro@yahoo.com) You know - this is just tooooo disturbing...I had to pick it.

Feeling out your constituents. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

Satisfying a special interest group. (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

Being up in the poles. (rod.renner@juno.com) Man, look at those poles climbing!

Handling the Minority Whip (chharget@aol.com)

Bipartisan Union (lacee7700@aol.com)

Having a closed door session. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

The winners:

Sounds like something Clinton would do...

Pushing a bill through. (jaynashvil@aol.com; william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Sounds like a clear case of Saddam-y...

I'd sure like to let my Persian missile invade your bag, dad. (RayofCork@aol.com)