Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 5 May 05)

Really Bad Explanations Anna Ayala Is Giving For How A Finger Ended Up In Her Wendy's Chili

"Did I say a finger? I meant a hair...yeah that's it, a hair that looked like a finger." (lacee7700@aol.com)

She was dating John Wayne Bobbitt. (bjjtoff@tds.net)

"So there was this hot chick, but I REALLY didn't want her to see that I was married..." (noveed@yahoo.com)

"I don't know, maybe the cooks were playing 'Extreme Rock, Paper, Scissors'!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com) The new guy behind the counter, Lefty, was a REAL big hint.

"The guys down at the mortuary have a really wicked hook shot." (stan@squidworks.com)

"It was an accident...I was saving it for the salad bar." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"I have a pathological fingernail biting habit that just got out of control." (tpanner@inorbit.com)

"I actually found it in the fries, but I knew they would *never* believe that story." (RasGold@aol.com) Yeah, the guys who do that job are usually all thumbs anyway.

The manager gave her the finger when she asked for extra cheese on her chili. (muck55@aol.com; and 92 other similar entries)

"They're trying to finger me for something I didn't do, but it looks as though I've bitten off more than I can chew." (rod.renner@juno.com)

"The Secretary of Agriculture stated last year, that he was keeping a finger on the meat industry..." (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

"When was the last time anyone saw 'Wendy?' Huh? Huh?" (giraffic_art@yahoo.com) That explain's Dave's cryptic last words: "There's a little Wendy's in all of us!"

Her tricks had her banned from all the McDonalds and Burger Kings already because there never is any real meat in their food. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

"Oh, yeah, I forgot....I had it surgically re-attached last year. I'm suing my surgeon!" (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

"It must have fallen out of the nose in my salad." (razcactus@netzero.com) Well...Michael Jackson COULDA been eating there.

A statement released by Wendy's CEO clarified matters "What? You idiots never heard of finger food?" (mikepena@verizon.net)

It was their limited time only "Stadium Style" recipe. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

Just one more inevitable example of fallout from our digital age. (HerzogVon@aol.com) Thanks for pointing that one out.

She thinks maybe her lawyer put it there. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

She originally tried hiding it in a 7-11 Spicy Big Bite, but was told that was not unusual. (RasGold@aol.com) That's a handy bit of info.

It slipped out of her voodoo mojo bag she hangs around her neck that's supposed to bring her prosperity. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

"I was pointing to the shards of glass when one cut me." (ahines3103@aol.com)

The winners:

And never bite off more than you can chew...

She was teaching the next table 'It is not Polite to Point'. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

Hah! I knew there was a good reason I waited so long to update...well, at least that's MY excuse...

Anna really had no explanation, shaking her head she just wished she had gone to the "Kohl's Frozen Custard" place in North Carolina, then her case would of been legitimate. But damn, some guy named Clarence Stowers beat her to it! (fireflysmail@aol.com)