Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 6 Apr 04)

Really Bad Side Effects of Setting Your Clock Ahead One Hour

Now the darn VCR will be flashing "1:00", "1:00", "1:00". (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com; witsend@sevinex.com)

You're the caretaker for Big Ben. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

Since it was instituted, back in the 30s, we've accumulated 15 years of extra time. It is actually 2019! This is verified by Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer having an imbroglio right outside your window... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com) Huh? What about Natalie Imbruglia?

"...OH! You said CLOCK?! That's a whole different thing altogether!" (Delbo75@hotmail.com)

You wake up with bed lag. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Wait, if you're writing this, and I'm commenting on it...WHO'S FLYING THE BED???!!!???

Your two hours late for an appointment because you had to cross a time zone. (mychickenlips@aol.com)

5:00 shadow comes earlier. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com) Nah, it just turns out I come from a family of lycanthropes.

You realize you are still used to your morning pee at 7:00 am, and the ole biological clock ain't been set ahead yet. (Flacsb252@wmconnect.com)

You get to the doctor's office one hour early for the appointment, meaning you have to sit there for 2-1/2 hours instead of the usual 1-1/2 hours. (tphyll@aol.com)

You fail your Quantum Physics class when you submit this as evidence that time travel is possible. (Truckerex@insightbb.com) You know, no one ever mentioned "Quantum Physics" until I did that Tweak...I'd like to think I am now responsible for the dumbing UP of a very, very, very small percentage of people.

A confused-looking Grim Reaper comparing his watch to the clock on your mantle. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

You realize you have to rush right back and pick up your pictures..at the One Hour Photo shop. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

You don't know whether to fall back, or spring ahead, the next morning in bed after a tumble toss with your blind date. (NITRAMXXXX@AOL.COM) I prefer to stand at attention.

You have to rewrite the beginning of your novel: "It was a dark and stormy morning..." Which has an extremely small readership and never gets famous in any way. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

An hour of good drinking time is snuffed out...just like that! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Salmonella... Even though the clock rolled forward an hour, the chicken needed to stay in the oven for A WHOLE HOUR. (tainsam@aol.com) Okay, so we are now back to dumbing DOWN here...kinda like HMO's own version of setting the clocks ahead and back.

Six weeks later and I'm still finding clocks to change. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

If I stand too still, there's a chance myself from the past will run into me...which is never good in the sci-fi movies. (chharget@aol.com)

We are one hour closer to another Keanu Reeves movie. (mboy2abq@yahoo.com) Could be worse...I'm not sure what...but there must be something.

You show up an hour early to a party your parents are hosting and find them, well, not prepared to entertain YOU. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

The winners:

Finally, the voice of reason...

Well, what the hell does that mean? Why would you want to set your clock ahead, for Christ's sake? You'd be an hour earlier everywhere and then have to wait for people. Sheesh - who comes up with these stupid ideas? (seeker@vcoms.net)

Right...like any husband ever stays up that late for anything...well other than for himself...

Your husband proudly proclaims that he cuddled with you from 1:59 am to 3:00 am. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)