Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(updated 6 Mar 03)
Really Bad Vampire-Based Shows to Replace "Buffy"
Survivor: Transylvania (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
Any current new sitcom - they ALL suck as much as a hungry vampire. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Frasier the Vampire Slayer... in his latest incarnation, Frasier Crane psychoanalyzes his prey before biting them. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com) Hey, that's clever...make them WANT death!
Father Knows Bats (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
Muffy, the Bisexual-Hooker Vampire Slayer (Of course, we'd have to move it to FOX...) (Jdoveraz@aol.com)
The 700 Year Old Club (email@example.com)
A new reality show: "Who Wants To Suck A Millionaire?" (firstname.lastname@example.org) Uh...this one sounds a little too much like the actual motivation behind "Joe Millionaire".
Ron Jeremy the Vampire Layer (email@example.com)
Sense and Suck Ability (Omegamagezero@aol.com)
Nikolas, The Myctophobic Vampire. Each episode, poor Nikolas tries to overcome his paralyzing fear of the dark or risk dying in the light. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Is using a Word-A-Day calendar worth bonus points, Cad?
Undead with Regis and Kelly Ripper (email@example.com)
Everybody Loves Plasma (LadyOfSplendor@aol.com)
Bosom Bloodies (Baitsmotel6@aol.com) "Kip...you got blood on my new dress!" "...Are you sure?"...."O-Positive-ly!"
HGTV's < Trading Crypts > It's a race against time as Vampires and their decorators exchange crypts and have until daylight to completely redo each others' coffins. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)
Plasma Suite (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
8 Simple Ways To Kill My Bloodsucking Daughter (firstname.lastname@example.org) Every week, a former cast member of a John Ritter show gets drained!
Neck At Night (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
Wouldn't that be "A Family O' Slayers"?
Jodie, Buffy and Mrs. Beasley Vampire Slayers (Brendazilla@aol.com)
Well, David Spade does look anemic enough to play the part...
Just Shoot Me With A Silver Bullet (email@example.com)