Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 6 Sep 05)
Really Bad Signs You Aren't Cut Out For Professional Poker
(Topic suggested by Cantw82paint@aol.com)
Last time someone said they were putting you all in, you started to disrobe. (email@example.com)
Your ex-wife Lorena "shortened" your career. (Poker? I hardly know her!) (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You think a full house is an old ABC sitcom. (email@example.com; Mistahatom@aol.com)
Last time it was your turn to bet, you said, "Does anyone have any THREES?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Stephanie Zimbalist! Oh wait, that was last week's Leis challenge. (email@example.com) Come play the game that's sweeping the nation....Leis Challenge!!! (and it was DORIS ROBERTS, by the way....)
When they won't take my jockey shorts for one chip. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com)
The only way you're going to raise anything is to take a Viagra. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You start making bathroom jokes every time you get a royal flush. (email@example.com) Like guys need any excuse.
You think a pair of queens are some guys from Bravo. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You don't own a cowboy hat or a pair of sunglasses. (Jdoveraz@aol.com)
You keep stripping every time you lose. (email@example.com; ParisIuvsMe@aol.com) Geez...this would explain why they let me win all the time.
You can't beat your 3-year old without cheating. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Instead of raising the ante, you"re razzing the auntie. (AuntShecky711@aol.com) Hey, she really DOES wear combat boots!
When playing Texas Hold'em, you try to snuggle with the person next to you. (IR2Odie@aol.com)
You like wearing your sunglasses indoors. And they're mirrored. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
You bring dip for the chips. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)
Just can't control my "dance of glee." (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com; email@example.com)
You often ask the guy next to you if your hand is good or not. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com) ...what's worse is you take his word for it.
You wouldn't know your ass from an ace in the hole in the ground! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Look! I have all red cards!!! (email@example.com) Oooh!! A red light!!! Oh wait, I thought we were playing Milles-Borne.
You got all your skill by listening to the Kenny Rogers' song "the Gambler". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Your friends love it when you join them for poker night. (email@example.com)
I prefer to yell out the more obscure, "Pass Bash!!!!!!!!"...
You can't refrain from yelling out, "Uno!" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Yeah yeah...insert your own "I'll raise" joke...
You think "poker face" is something you do with your erection. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)