Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 7 Nov 03)

Really Bad Things a Car Salesman Says That Sound Dirty, But Aren't

You want to go BIG? How about a Hummer? ( I'd prefer a moaner.

Come on down and see our quick loan officer, Lucy. You'll be in and out in a wink! (

Free lube for life. (

You could fit a whole football team in there. ( Is that with or without their protective gear?

This model has lots of head room. (

Get in there and smell the interior. (

Grab up this little baby..take her top down..and she'll be the best ride you ever had! ( Whatever you say, Mr. Clinton....but can we look at a car first?

(During the test drive) "Gee, Missy, you sure know how to work that stick." (

Hey, it's your wife's turn now. (

Interested in a Hummer? ( Oh, like who isn't these days?

Sometimes you have to pump her a time or two to really get her going. (

Did you want a bigger woofer in your trunk? ( Please, let that be a RHETORICAL question!

Slide on in here and see how she fits all around you....... (

This little baby's loaded...and she'll do anything you want! ( Sounds like someone just might be getting a hot rod.

What will it take to get you in this baby today? (

The winners:

Well, I agree with the last part of this sentence...

You've got no spark and you're suffering from premature ignition. Your jack wont go up and your exhaust is leaking toxic gas. I think you need a new model. (

Well, I am really interested in seeing just how much you'll take off...

I can go down some more on her just for you, buddy. (