Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 7 Nov 04)

Really Bad Excuses For Not Voting
(Topic suggested by chharget@aol.com)

Was hung in line to vote for hours and all I got to show for it was this flu shot. (dorr@jam.rr.com; DaJakAiss@aol.com)

The fact that there are three candidates reminds you of that Three Card Monte game you lost... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

I can cause the same amount of pain by staying home and shoving a fork in my eye! (gmg247@yahoo.com) You have a point there...no pun intended.

OCD...All kinds of germs in those voting booths! (Airfarcewon@aol.com; ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

Voting, boating, same thing. (FreeLooseDirt@gmail.com)

Too deep into the 'Kids in the Hall' first season DVD. (Idolphin34@hotmail.com) Lorne Michaels for President!!

The middle school that is your polling place expelled you out 15 years ago. And they still mean it !! (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Was told due to the expected high voter turnout that Democrats were to vote on Nov 3rd. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

What? And miss 'Two For Tuesday' down at the pub?? (ldolphin34@hotmail.com) Coulda just downed a shot each time a state was "coloured"...like I did afterwards.

Still in coma caused by watching the debates. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

Because I'm anti anything Eminem does! (BRE727@aol.com)

According to the helpful "Florida Minorities Voting Guide", my polling place is somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. (chharget@aol.com)

Confused "The Polling Place" with a local strip joint and happily contributed to favorite "candidate". (atwright73@yahoo.com) I could very easily make a Bush joke here, but I'm not gonna!

I live in Florida... my vote wouldn't get counted anyway. (ChrisAndBrandi69@aol.com; ahines3103@aol.com)

Why bother? Elections are decided by the Supreme Court now. (dart270@geocities.com)

The squirrels are watching. (sykomunnky@msn.com) Well, they came to the right place...afterall, half the people who voted were "nuts". ;)

It only makes sense to vote in an actual Democracy. (chharget@aol.com)

The economy is so bad, you couldn't find a coin to flip. (murdoctor@aol.com)

I'm from Florida, and the process is far above my level of comprehension. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

If I voted and my guy won, what would I have to complain about for the next four years? (SPTirish@aol.com; WJKbase@aol.com) Uh...your "brilliant" entries not getting picked at HMO? Hey, just a thought. :)

Can't take firearms into the polling place fer cryin' out loud. (seeker@vcoms.net)

Election what election? You know they really should run some commercials or something to let a guy know. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

Couldn't find the right shoes...don't have a pair of boots high enough to wade through that much crap! (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Voted 5 times last election so I figured was set for a while. (dorr@jam.rr.com) You dang Floridians....

You get confused after you close the curtain and think you're trying on new pants. (gmg247@yahoo.com)

I had a colonoscopy that day. Pretty much the same. (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

"Vote or Die" - well Puffy let's see what you got. (SPTirish@aol.com) Ooooh...like you are going to be SOOOOO sorry when Puffy reads this....uh....hmmmm....nevermind.

With a population of 294,646,223 people in the United States, my choice has been narrowed down to these two ?????? (SPTirish@aol.com)

Don't like this Bush as much as the last one. I'll wait for the next one. (FreeLooseDirt@gmail.com)

The winners:

This one's a little too "on the nose", the red nose, that is...

My candidate, Bozo the Clown, is not running. Oh, wait... (muhltrayne@yahoo.com)

Totally understandable...

My Mom said not to vote for "that idiot!" Well, that didn't leave me any choices. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)