Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 7 Oct 04)
Really Bad Signs You May Have Lied Once Too Often
(Topic suggested by firstname.lastname@example.org)
Your friends often break out into, "I got no strings." (email@example.com)
Your PDA's memory is crammed full of reminders about your past lies, so you can try to keep them consistent. (firstname.lastname@example.org) I always wondered why people needed those.
I never lie, so it is impossible for me to answer this. (However, if backed into a corner I will play stupid.) (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Penthouse Forum offers you a position as staff writer. (khalazdad@adelphianet) Yeah..."staff" writer.
Your parents bought stock in Proctor & Gamble with all the soap you been eating. (SPTirish@aol.com)
Morgan Fairchild hits you with a restraining order. Yeah, that's the ticket! (email@example.com)
You have the prefix: Gov, Sen, Rep, or Pres in front of your name. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Hey, what about Mayor?...Signed Marion Barry.
911 won't send help unless you let them hear the gunshots first. (email@example.com)
While brushing your teeth in the morning you notice your tongue is now forked. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Instead of your nose getting bigger, your ass gets bigger. Might explain some politicians. (SevenButterflies@hotmail.com) Ted Kennedy must've told some real whoppers. Or maybe he just ate some real Whoppers.
Your pants burst into flames. (email@example.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)
Everyone automatically adds ten strokes to whatever score you tell them. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
All your friends wear wading boots around you. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) Maybe it's because you are so full of "crappie"?
Lightning finally DOES strike you down. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Your Priest makes you take a polygraph. (email@example.com)
You have to hire another lawyer to handle your first lawyer's lawsuits. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Well, at least it keeps 2 lawyers off the streets...
You find yourself in a pharmacy looking for a way to remove both tar and feathers. (email@example.com)
It's the 6th time they had to replace the ink on the polygraph and they need to send someone out to pick up some more. (zcktomcat@AOL.COM)
Your 3 wives are starting to suspect. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You start to believe you are a 6'2", 175 lb investment banker who only goes online to meet nice people. (DaJakAiss@Aol.com) Uh...you forgot to include "Adonis".
Your boss just asks which number story today for not being on time. (email@example.com)
You broke the Guinness record for having children. (RussWeiss1949@aol.com) The bad part is - you can't tell your wife about it.
Your spouse has gone from not listening to you, to listening VERY carefully. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Employee of the Month at the "previously owned" car lot. (AutumnEagl@yahoo.com)
Funny, I've got one that says "Liar's with me"...
Your spouse just came home with a new T-shirt and it says..."I'm with Liar". (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)
"Rather" a break of a lifetime...I'd say...
I just got a job as a reporter for CBS. (email@example.com)