Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(updated 8 May 03)
Really Bad Other Things You Can Do As a Coach In Alabama That Will Get You Fired
The Lambada. With the star center. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Is the glass half-full...
Found to have the most entries posted by HumorMeOnline.com. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)
...or half-empty? You be the judge.
Found to have the most entries turned down by HumorMeOnline.com. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)
Making derogatory remarks about campus coeds and "crimson tide". (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
Drive something other than a pickup truck. (email@example.com) Or one without a gun rack.
Refer to your team as "everyone" instead of "Ya'll". (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)
Prefer Neil Young's song about Alabama over Lynyrd Skynyrd's. (Cringe4242@earthlink.net)
Admit you own an espresso machine, and state that only hicks drink beer. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Yee haw!
Mistakenly refer to your university as Georgia Tech. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)
Being seen in a homemade porno with any dialog related to..."Get off me Daddy...yer squishin' my cigarettes." (email@example.com)
Compliment Notre Dame's coach and football program. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)
Tell fans to quit bringing those redneck Confederate flags to the games. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
Put a couch on your porch and sit there all night drinking. (Jokerzgirl77@aol.com) No no - that's only in Tuscaloosa.
Give the impression that you thought "Crimson Tide" was a laundry detergent. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Remove "connect the dots" pages in playbook. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Try to smuggle Hooked On Phonics across the state line. (email@example.com) Well, they sure as hell aren't smuggling them across Mississippi or Tennessee.
Forget the words to "Sweet Home Alabama." (Jjambra@aol.com)
Forfeit all your games for the next three years to help a scholarship reserve linebacker who slipped to a B+ grade average. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Name your best play: "Destiny, into the Hole" and the QB's count to be 38,DD, 24, 36 Hike it up! (SSCompose@aol.com)
Good luck finding all your teeth...and bones...and...
Mention that you will be the best coach ever in Alabama because Paul "Bear" Bryant is a chump!!!! (email@example.com)
I'd wager that that's not so smart:
Bet on the other team. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)