Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 9 Jun 04)
Really Bad Questions to Ask the Seller When You Buy a Gun From an Online Auction Site
Do you have one that already has the serial # scraped off? (email@example.com)
Does it come in pink? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Was this ever fired by Donald Trump? (email@example.com)
Is it OK if I use my soon to be ex's credit card? (firstname.lastname@example.org) "And by 'ex' I mean 'ex-living'.
How many magazines come with it? I do a lot of reading. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
Will this gun be suitable for capping whoever's messing with the ReBa categories? (email@example.com)
Is it small enough to conceal in a bra? (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Um, why do you ask, dad?
So is P. Diddy your real name? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Do you have any of those armor-piercing bullets I've heard about on the news? (email@example.com; Saxonraerae7@aol.com)
Doesn't it seem a little ironic to buy a Baretta from Robert Blake? (firstname.lastname@example.org) Shoot, this one's spelled wrong...well, okay, we'll let it slide.
Has this gun ever been submerged in the East River? (email@example.com)
Um, do you sell to known felons? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I have this friend that has this wife....... (email@example.com) Okay, if this story also involves a rabbi and a duck, I've heard it before....
What's the knockdown power of this gun? I mean, say for example, of a 210 pound ex-husband? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Can I get a map of Washington DC with that please? (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Would it be easy to wipe my fingerprints off of it? (Cantw82paint@Aol.com; email@example.com)
Does it have the Charlton Heston Seal of Approval? (firstname.lastname@example.org) Uh...don't they all?
Do you know where I can buy a ski mask? (email@example.com)
Does it have enough force to get through my husbands thick skull?! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Is the sight good enough to be able to pinpoint a person's head from, oh, let's say the far side of the Senate chamber? (email@example.com)
So, did owning this gun compensate for the smallness of your penis and, if so, by how much, because I've got a lot to make up for in that department. (firstname.lastname@example.org) You know, sometimes opening up to a complete stranger is cathartic...but sheesh...we must get at least 15 people reading this site.
How will this purchase appear on my credit card statement? (email@example.com)
I only need it for five minutes. Can I return it for a full refund? (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com) Minus the cost of 1 bullet, methinks.
You don't believe in any of that nonsense about a "waiting period" right? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Can I just have this shipped right to the Post Office where I work? (email@example.com)
It's nice to know that there's always someone out there online who is willing to help any way they can...
My dad says I should tell you I'm old enough. How old is that? (Joker@TheKidders.com)
We're all gunning for you!...
Umm....will the one you send me fire real bullets and not water? (firstname.lastname@example.org)