(updated 10 Jun 05)

Hosted by Jankath

Bill Clinton: Guest Role in Desperate Housewives

Otherwise known as: WHO's your daddy, who's YOUR daddy, who's your DADDY. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

All the Housewives: "We're not THAT desperate!" (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

Bill thinks these women aren't quite ugly enough for him. (tphyll@aol.com)

On hearing the news, Senator Hillary researched to see if there were chastity belts for the face. (humorbear@aol.com)

He's the neighbor whose doorbell tone sounds suspiciously like the "Playboy After Dark" theme... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

I'm not here for sex, but hey, a few executive privileges wouldn't hurt. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"I'll feel your pain---along with some other things..." (paracletus3@earthlink.net, LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

Alright, I'll do it...but I have to get paid under the table. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

How the season would have ended if Clinton had a guest spot on D.H.: "Your honor, I did not have sexual relations with that woman. But, dude, she's been banging your gardener for months." (bhsmrtgrrl@yahoo.com)

It's a forerunner of the new show, "Desperate Politicians." (tphyll@aol.com) I thought it was called "C-Span".

The show's sponsored by Dutch Master Cigars, The Gap, and your local dry cleaners. (humorbear@aol.com)

The same role he has in real life: Horny Ex-President looking for a little action in the neighborhood. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Pool Boy for Teri Hatcher. Only this time he keeps his shirt on. (tpanner@inorbit.com) Who knows, maybe she has a thing for chest zippers.

Girls, I know how good a great marital sex life can be...usually from second hand accounts. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Uh...sure...yeah...I can be a plumber. It depends on what your definition of "fixing the pipes" is... (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

"But Hillary, I had to sleep with them all - haven't you ever heard of 'method acting'??" (ParisLuvsMe@aol.com)

And speaking of no method to the madness:

"Hey, I asked for a hummer from Monica freakin' Lewinsky... YOU can't be more desperate than THAT." (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)