(updated 10 May 07)

I will get the new title up as soon as I get around to it. For now I am sure you can handle knowing it is "Yo Mama" and not "DeFUNitions".

Drek provided by Cad and Bucko

Yo Mama cooks such ugly, nasty meatloaf...
(Topic cooked up by ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)

Shouldn't "vituperativeness" be the last DeFUNition before we go to this new contest? (guitartexn@aol.com) No...but if you remember to send it in, it can be the first next time.  ;)

...people confuse it for yo mama. (timamod@aol.com)

...Bill Clinton invited it (the meatloaf) out for drinks. (cdmauger@aol.com) The verdict is out on whether he got "lucky" after.

...even the garbage disposal won't eat it. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

... you can't decide if your brother's subsequent puke is more appetizing. (mimsydivine@earthlink.net) Dig in, it couldn't possibly be worse. Besides, I was considerate enough to do it in your lap, wasn't I?

...even Jhantrae's pit bull won't bite it. (cringe4242@earthlink.net)

...and her cigar ashes add a bad smokey taste. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com) Sounds more she's using "DAMN!" instead of "BAM!"

...that Osama bin Laden wants the recipe. (rampage1984@msn.com)

...Marvin Lee Aday is considering litigation. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) He has his nerve after that last album.

...her oven runs out of the kitchen and crawls up on the toilet. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

...but she's near closing a deal with Taco Bell. (humorbear@aol.com) Smack that puppy in a tortilla wrap and call it a Horrorito.

I'd say that last tag line was overworked, if only it wouldn't start that whole "blurby" argument again....

...the dogs are on the phone asking if they can have dinner at the neighbor's house. (stan@squidworks.com)

...truckers use it to chock their wheels. (guitartexn@aol.com) Cad said this reminds her of vitamins from her youth. DAMN, she's old! Yeah, yeah, but you said it reminds you of Count Chocula...which makes you EQUALLY as old! Count WHO? Nah.... must be the dementia again. Hers, that is. ;)

...the cat tried to cover it up with the baby's Moon Sand. (holtbolt@comcast.net; e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

...broccoli is considered a desert. (SPTirish@aol.com) No no...the Sahara is considered a desert. Yeah...I'm soooo mean.

...that cockroaches ran for cover. (tphyll@aol.com)

...Al Gore claims that it's responsible for global warming. (tphyll@aol.com) But he draws the line on saying he invented the recipe.

...that the Bush administration is flying tons of it to Iraq, to claim that they finally found the WMDs. (LouMizzou@yahoo.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

... the Heinz ketchup won't even come out of the bottle. (jrgracey1@aol.com) No "anticipation" whatsoever, huh? (Yes, you have to be old to get this one.) Carly gonna come bitch-slap you!

...it could kill rats. Too bad they won't touch it. (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

...Quentin Tarantino offered it a role in one of his movies. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) One thing you've gotta say about Quentin.... I just don't know what it is.

...it's no wonder she thinks your fugly face is cute. (tstrontium90@aol.com)

...your dog prefers to eat recalled dog-food. (tphyll@aol.com) Well, that IS the wiser of the two things.

...that it violates the Geneva convention when served to POW's for cruel and inhumane treatment. (madavis62@alltel.net) Haven't you heard? The Bush administration doesn't believe in the Geneva Convention.

...that the pan throws up! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

...that flies set up emergency flares to avoid landing on it. (GerriHan65@aol.com; Truckerex@insightbb.com) And she said those were birthday candles!

...that it grosses out your cousin, the proctologist. (Skibip@aol.com)

...you need the jaws of life just to chew it. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com) You'd need the jaws of life to pry my mouth open to eat the damn thing.

...you can dump dat shit from the pan to the toilet, and cut out the middle man. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

... it looks like that Horta creature from the original Star Trek, and stinks just about as bad as Shatner's acting. (mimsydivine@earthlink.net; LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

By the way, this ground round of the contest is dedicated to me sainted mother.

...that it smells almost as bad as her dripping, hairy armpits eww! ;) (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) Are you talking about:

...the lunchlady at my school asked her for the recipe (archerjoe@hotmail.com) ...because believe it or not:

...school lunchladies refuse to serve it. (atwright73@yahoo.com)

...that it looks like it's been through two colons already. (lhill@vhb.com) Whose, exactly? You know, personally, I've never had the desire to see something that's been thru TWO of them...or even one of them when I think about it. You had to THINK about it? Hey, you musta forgotten I'm the one who periodically, um...pulls out this butt site for everyone's "enjoyment".

...that NASA uses it for replacement heat tiles for the shuttle. (rampage1984@msn.com; madavis62@alltel.net)

...she should call it Meetloathe (NITRAMXXX@aol.com) Sorta gives you a hankering for Spam, doesn't it?

...that the police have it roped off as a crime scene. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

...yo Daddy brings a roll of toilet paper to dinner. (mimsydivine@earthlink.net) "Yo, Jimmy...wipe that shit up!"

...that the coroner demanded an autopsy of the leftovers. (atwright73@yahoo.com) Sounds like Cad's meat loaf.... it smells like something died three days before she serves it. But you STILL asked for seconds!

...that when you fart, Homeland Security starts color coding. (humorbear@aol.com)

Maybe it will at least keep them all from ever opening their mouths...

...it will become the next co-host to replace Rosie on 'The View'! (rickandvirginia@comcast.net)

Go ahead, he looks friendly...

...the whole family envies the dog, who can lick his butt to get rid of the taste. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com; SPTirish@aol.com)