(updated 16 Mar 05)

Hosted by Slyph

The Marquis Donatien Alphonse François de'Sade Buying Tools From Home Depot

Well, I can always use a new "garden hoe" if you know what I mean. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Only a masochist would pay these prices!! (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

I like my sandpaper coarse, like my women. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) I bet he takes his women like his coffee, ground up and in the freezer.

Wandering by the huge pile of 2 x 4's, the Marquis shrieked in delight, "Wow! What a mass o' kiss sticks!" (JOSQUARD@aol.com) You guys took lessons from him didn't ya? Every *cough longer than a* week you subject me to a new trial-by-pun.

Heard over the intercom: "Clean up on aisles 4,5, 6, and 11, and would someone please tell the man with the feather to stay clear of the paint shaker." (guitartexn@aol.com) I can't picture it and I don't wanna.

"No, I'm not remodeling my bedroom, just fully equipping it." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Je déteste essayer de signer ces condamner les machines de carte de crédit électroniques (Translation: I hate trying to sign these damn electronic credit card machines.) (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

Sales clerk to de'Sade: "Sorry we can't sell you any garden tools...we learned you abused a bunch of hoes." (maxcel200@aol.com)

I'd like to see something in a variable speed, 3/4 inch drill, and do you have any instruction material that would demonstrate the best way to pound it into someones ass? (Truckerex@insightbb.com) Well, SOMEBODY had to lower the tone. :P

"Magda, darling, this paint clerk has no sense of color. See that some pain comes to him." (ListenBucko@yahoo.com) He's just sore they don't have any cans labelled "Depucilated slave-girl red".

Haha, sore. Pun.


"No! No! Show me MORE of your wood! I'm still not satisfied!" (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)