(updated 1 Jul 05)


The time has come for us to replace this "Rotating Contest" ...so that means JuxtaPoser will go away for a while, and another one will take over for the next three months. What we need is your help - we need to put another contest in its place and we'd like your ideas for a new one...or which one you'd like to see return. So, send your suggestions below (just like you'd send an entry) and let us know what you'd like to play.


Hosted by Jankath

Al Gore: Call Taker For Microsoft Helpline

Also known as: Hi, my name is Al, and if you are not from Florida, may I help you? (skibip@aol.com)

Let's just get these out of the way:

"Database problems? Eh, sorry. I didn't invent THAT!" (giraffic_art@yahoo.com) ...And a cast of thousands.

AG: "Hello, Microsoft Helpline."
Caller: "Damn, another answering service. What do I have to do to talk to a real live person!" (astae@paonline.com) ...Ditto.

...And the hits just keep on coming:

Hello… This is Al… Bizzzzztt (Insert electrical switching sounds here)...George Bush here… I know you may think you called Al, but you called me… Really… (fparsons@yahoo.com) ...."Do not adjust your set...we will control the horizontal"... Oh, wrong president.

"Yes, first with Bill Clinton, and now, Bill Gates...I just can't seem to pass any Bills. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Why yes, I am running Windows XP...No... no... on my computer. (atwright73@yahoo.com)

"OK. I empathize with you and your problems. Now, let me recount to you the steps to take..." (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

Me: "Excuse me, Al. If you're so lame that you couldn't beat George Bush, why the hell would I take computer advice from you?" (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com) ...Bet you didn't even guess that I'm the "token" conservative around here.

...Make sure you get that Hillary Clinton virus off your hard drive!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

AlGore.EXE has caused a general protection fault. Reason: Hungapp. Press * to reboot, or # to shut down. (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)

"Hey baby. What are you wearing right now? Listen, it's all about building my new and creepier image." (tpanner@inorbit.com) ...Well, it's working.

"Hello. Buy a Mac. You're welcome. Next! Hello. Buy a Mac. You're welcome. Next!" (giraffic_art@yahoo.com) ...That explains it. Too honest for a politician.

Pressing "Escape" doesn't do what you think, Mr. Melmoth. You're still on the phone and we're still talking. (williemelmoth@aol.com)

"What's that?...Could you talk to Tipper? Oh, I'm sorry, she doesn't do Windows." (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

You guys just couldn't think out of the ballot box:

"I'll have to put you on hold, Chad...so, hang in there!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)