(updated 25 May 09)

Drek provided by Cad and Bucko

Everyone gets double the Rat's Asses because I'm so nice - also I didn't pick this time around because I was feeling all pathetic and emo - so there's only one winner this time around.

Things Not To Say and/or Do at a Freak Show

"MOM?" (gerg17@comcast.net, archerjoe@hotmail.com & a lot of other dysfunctional children)

That's grotesque!...Oh, sorry, I thought you were part of the show. (wamii_69@yahoo.com)

Mom, I brought you here to meet my new boyfriend... (wamii_69@yahoo.com)

"Uh, do you give milk?" (tpanner@hotmail.com) Thanks for the mammaries....

"Boy, that would make a great Halloween costume." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Point at the bearded lady and say "Hell, that's nothing! Here's a picture of my mother-in-law!" (strollo5@embarqmail.com) What's really awkward is that it was a NUDE bearded lady. Yeah, take that any way you like.

"Hey bearded lady, are you giving out free mustache rides today?" (MrMisterman@aol.com) At the end of the day like that, you know she's gotta be bushed.

From the 2 headed man: "Hey would you mind scratching my back. Yes, because it's located at my genitals!" (DOrr221@comcast.net)

Good job we didn't bring your mother dear... they might not let us take her home again. (matt@boozemonkey.com) You say that like it'd be a bad thing....

Boy, I bet you can really give heads. (bigbowsie@gmail.com)

Never ask the fat lady to sing...then the show will suddenly be over! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Say, Honey,your brother-in-law sure has done well for himself. (ronxian@bak.rr.com)

Staring at the sword swallower, "Wow, there's a new retirement gig for your mother, dear." (GerriHan65@aol.com)

Just be quiet and enjoy the music. Michael Jackson's got to make a living, you know. (shep@compascable.net)

Mate. (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

Don't mess with the dwarves & midgets. They have short tempers (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) That may offend Little People. So I gave them your address.

Ask them to a Mary Kay party. (mashallaha@aol.com)

Say, weren't you on the board of directors at General Motors last year? (gerg17@comcast.net) No, that would be down in the clown tent.

Ever since someone told him Democrats are made out of oxycontin:

I hear you love Democrats, Mr. Limbaugh. (maxcel200@aol.com)