(updated 8 Jul 05)

Well, the votes are in...and we decided to go with a return run of DeFUNitions...I'll post the archives up again as soon as I can so those of you who never played can get a better feel of what we are looking for...altho we figure you'll catch on with no problem.

Hosted by Jankath

Ponce De Leon: Selling His "Fountain Of Life" Scam

...And be sure to tell your doctor if your erection lasts more than four hours. (tphyll@aol.com)

Wouldn't you love to answer, "Yes, I am!" when someone says, "You ain't gettin' any younger!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The Fountain now comes with a built-in bar, jacuzzi, whirlpool, and if you're forty: two 20's of the opposite sex. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"...And if you act now, we'll throw in absolutely free...this lifetime supply of anti-aging cream. Uh...wait...make that 2 year's supply..." (ParisluvsMe@aol.com)

"Thus, your Highness...we will make fortune upon fortune selling the elixir by the galleon!" (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

"Only one possible side effect: you may look like Gary Coleman for the rest of your life!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

Paris Hilton? She's really Bea Arthur but don't tell anyone. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

No, ma'am, this is NOT a pyramid scheme. Do you know how old those pyramids are??? (kayladykay@aol.com)

Well, the "Fountain of Youth" didn't fly so now he believes in the "Scalpel of Youth." (BRE727@aol.com)

And if you call within the next 10 minutes, you get one of these hard working Indians, absolutely free!!" (scice@aol.com)

Whew! I thought you said "ugliness":

"Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your elderliness back." (HerzogVon@aol.com)

And as one player put it: Please consider bringing back DeFUNitions...that used to be my favorite contest when it ran well over a year ago. :o) (MedCheryl@aol.com)

Your wish is my command.

I thought I would put up a previous contest as an example....especially for all our newer players who weren't around when we played this the last time. This is basically how this contest goes...


Bar-hopping until you die. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

The suicidal urge you have after looking at Rosanne. (Baitsmotle6@aol.com) Especially if you happen to gaze upon her at a naked celebrities site.

The one drink that must be consumed at a Bar Mitzvah. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

To choke on your Bar exam due to a lack of studying. (StanYan1@aol.com)

What your tavern keeper feels after a really tough night. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

Almost barmy enough to be suicidal. (kayladykay@aol.com)

Fancy word for alcohol poisoning. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

Trying to kill anyone who attempts to steal your beer. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

Insecticide effective against bar flies. (mr_didgers@hotmail.com) Not "infecticide"?

Adj., likely to shut down a bar. "Wine Tastings at the Red Dog Saloon? That'd be barmecidal!" (TerriKlein@aol.com)

How weather forecasters react to a bad prediction. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

A mental condition where a person desires to enter a bar and drink oneself to death. (i.e. "Because John was depressed for so long, he developed barmecidal tendencies.") (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

Someone who kills a bartender after he shouts 'Last Call!' (Stan790@aol.com)

Using beer in the absence of contraceptive gel. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

Of course, usually after they leave the bar where they were riding the mechanical bull...

What one good Samaritan cowboy will ask another. (lacee7700@aol.com)