(4 Jun 08)

The winner: ososexilexi@aol.com is the recipient of a signed cartoon rendering this time around.



Voting Results:

Stu: 79%
ososexilexi: 21%

The Runners-Up:

"Well, because of the nice turnout today, I'm pleased to say I can raise my hourly rates by another 50 dollars." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

"As part of the plea bargain, my client will be entering the Witness Protection Program as Humberto Gunderson of Tempe, Arizona...uh, this is off the record, right?" (gerg17@comcast.net)

"My client isn't guilty, he's just innocence deficient." (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)

Mad Cow disease is a serious problem...as stated elsewhere you cannot treat cattle like airline passengers. (humorbear@aol.com)

"My promise is to avoid breaking promises by not making promises." (retrometro@rogers.com)

"Thank you all for coming to my press conference. Today I am announcing my resignation as Governor in order to spend my time AWAY from my family." (sadsack59@hotmail.com)

"Why yes, I think I probably am the first one to decide to wear a blue-grey suit instead of all white, like the rest of you." (skibip@aol.com)

"I'm happy to have been acquitted of those groundless indecency charges and a bit humored by the fact that no one has noticed that my fly is down again!" (stan@squidworks.com)

"No, I'm not lying, my nose has always been this big." (saxonraerae7@aol.com)

David Blaine levitates for the cameras again. (mashallaha@aol.com)

"President Bush told me to tell you exactly what you want to hear." (moonbunch01@aol.com)

"No comment, except to say the judge ruled for Delilah, Samson is really miffed, and I would not stand here too long if I were you." (monacof@bellsouth.net)

"Yeah, that's right...I'm here to stage a one-man protest against the new city by-law. I mean, c'mon guys...don't you think a law stating that we all HAVE to wear white clothing goes a little against the Constitution?" (loonalupe@rogers.com)

"I'm the perfect presidential candidate, my name is JoHillBar McClintama." (ankle_jay@comcast.net)

"Yes, the scandal ridden senator will extract his pound of flesh...in fact, come to think of it, he's pounded it quite frequently." (humorbear@aol.com)

"...and so our last attempts to divert the killer asteroid have failed; we have four days left until impact. On a brighter note, the President signed a bill offering total amnesty on all student loan payments!" (gerg17@comcast.net)

"My candidate will be with you as soon as he finds a word in his speech that can be found in Spell Check." (retrometro@rogers.com)

"I would like to open by asking the sound man to rub that microphone a little lower." (mashallaha@aol.com)

"Yes, you really do look different in the Groucho glasses." (mashallaha@aol.com)

"It's so simple, really. I go in, plead, insanity, and they send me to a nice place with good food, rooms, and professional doctors!" (ryanmauger@sbcglobal.net)

"Miss Lohan would like to go on record as saying her latest 30 minutes in jail were absolute hell." (tpanner@hotmail.com)