(8 Jul 08)

The winner: archerjoe@hotmail.com is the recipient of a signed cartoon rendering this time around.



Voting Results:
Stu: 14%
archerjoe: 86%

The Runners-Up:

All the people on Top Stu this time around get double Rat's Asses - because, as we mentioned on the HMO Forum...it was the next contest chosen to do so.

"He kept telling me that I would be the death of him! What else could I do?" (monacof@bellsouth.net)

"It's bad enough that I caught him with another woman. Can't you get that smile off is face?" (skibip@aol.com)

As Bob stood in the background, he began to rethink this as the "Best April Fool's Gag To Play On Mom"... (arlenekader@aol.com)

SNIFF..."Totally silent"...SNIFF..."Stiff as a board"..."Unresponsive"...SNIFF... "Reminds me of our wedding night." (gerg17@comcast.net)

Woman: "He said he wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt..." (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

"No, it's not him. Damn it!" (sadsack59@hotmail.com)

"Oh, thank God! That's not my husband. He never had a scar that big on his chest." (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but due to the Rigor Mortis, the remote will have to remain in his hand." (gerg17@comcast.net)

Man on left: "Ma'am, may we have a better I.D. then, he looks like, 'death warmed over?' " (humorbear@aol.com)

(Female) "Yes. That's A. Salesman." (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)

"And to make matters even worse, the bullet put a hole in his favorite shirt!" (skibip@aol.com)

"He could be my husband, do you know what his assets were?" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

"Yes, that's him. You can see where I shot him." (strollo5@embarqmail.com)

"Lady, you want a second opinion? Okay, he's not dead....He's just hibernating till your mother moves out." (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Yep, that's him...but was the pepper spray really necessary?" (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Actually Ma'am ..my hand isn't what's holding up the sheet." (arlenekader@aol.com)

Man on Left: "Ma'am, if you could give us a positive I.D--both of us are on graveyard here and we're dead tired..." Caption: Morgue Sensitivity (humorbear@aol.com)

"'Well, this was no boat accident! And it was no propeller! It was a shark!'. Sorry, I've always wanted to do that." (jdcoops3@aol.com)

It said on the bottle, "For an erection lasting more that 4 hours consult your doctor"...we just lost track of the time I guess. (moonbunch01@aol.com)

"Oh my God, he's freezer burnt!" (moonbunch01@aol.com)

Lady: "He died in bed with Jessica Alba and Jennifer Connelly." Coroner (thinking): "Lucky Stiff!" (rod.renner@juno.com)

"Caption" Officer Bob wondered if he should wait until she left the morgue before asking Widow Alice on a date. (arlenekader@aol.com)

"I can't believe that he could be accidentally stabbed 417 times. What are the odds on such a freak happenstance?" (lhill@bryant.edu)

"Yes that's Mr. Schwartz I'd recognize that schlong anywhere." (DOrr221@comcast.net)

"No, that's not my husband, but I wish he had been." (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com; sheafitz1@netscape.com)

"I asked the barber to take a little off the top, and look at what he did!" (tphyll@aol.com)

"Yes, that's my husband. Do you use Snuggle? That sheet smells fantastic." (Kamasushi@gmail.com)