(11 Feb 04)

The winner: StanYan1@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 68%
StanYan1: 32%

The Runners-Up:

Actually, we haven't even got married yet. I'm just checking out my options. (moonbunch01@aol.com)

Oh, I dunno. Now that he's paid for all my plastic surgeries, I'm just too good looking for him. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

You know, ... I wouldn't be divorcing him if his nose was as big as yours. (RasGold@aol.com)

I don't have any money, but I do a great Sharon Stone impression... (rochford@netaus.net.au)

No, I didn't marry him for his money. I married him for his house and his car and his stock portfolio. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

Oh, he can have the children and the house. I just want custody of his penis. (polaris75@aol.com)

I hope this won't take long...I have to meet my boyfriend for lunch. (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

They're as real as your toupee. (BikeMike101@hotmail.com)

I found someone older, wiser...more easily tired out. (chharget@aol.com)

I did sign a pre-nup, but he told me it was a waiver to get backstage passes to see Bon Jovi.... (redbarron1010@aol.com)

My friend, Britney, recommended you. She says you're the best. (tenaciousfiend24@sbcglobal.net)

I never got around to divorcing the first four. Can I get a package deal if dump all five now? (sp723920@aol.com)

No! I didn't commit adultery; he was under age, so it was only teenagery. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

I want him living in a refrigerator box by Monday. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

So, did you pick your job for the opportunity to meet newly single ladies like me? (dart270@geocities.com)

Yes, sir -- I've always been a faithful, loyal wife. Now, can we go and talk about all this over a nice dinner? (kayladykay@aol.com) I've always worked pro bone. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Don't look surprised...I know there's someone under that desk. (thisislucy76@aol.com)

This is so convenient being located right next door to the Little White Chapel. (moonbunch01@aol.com)