(11 Jan 03)

The winner: MooseSpeak@netscape.net...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 30%
MooseSpeak: 70%

The Runners-Up:

Now listen! Just because Santa didn't bring you boobies for Christmas is no reason to sue him! (Guitartexn@aol.com)

Sweetie, it's ok don't be angry...just because the 50 people that we invited didn't show up, doesn't mean you don't have friends. (jaydajag0587@aol.com)

You're six. You don't have PMS. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Free To Good Home: Annoying little brother with bed-wetting tendencies. Call 555-1212.......SUZY!!!! (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Aww, c'mon, sweetie, you're too young to have the facial expressions of a married woman! (strollo5@aol.com)

Hold your breath if you want, your only are a pale shade of blue right now. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Hey darlin, this blank 96-page book about men is really good. (master_of_luv@hotmail.com)

I'm sorry Sally, but I don't think that waiting until junior high to get your tongue pierced is an unreasonable request. (rocesblader02@hotmail.com)

Twice as much homework for half the amount of recess? Welcome to the real world, sweetie. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

I don't care if you do think you're old enough to spend the night with your boyfriend, you'll have to wait until you're at least 14 like your mother did with me. (andadayplusone@aol.com)

Look, good ergonomics dictate that I should have a table next to this chair. But do you hear *me* whining? (AmNotAr2@aol.com)

Your teacher called and told me stop helping you with your homework...she claims General Motors was not a Civil War General. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Look, you never really appreciate the wisdom of age until your OLD! (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

When they raise MY allowance, I'll raise yours. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

A young Martha Stewart is miffed when her father won't give her the sports section so she can finish her decoupaging. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)