(16 Dec 03)

The winner: penpendisarapen@yahoo.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 30%
penpendisarapen: 70%

The Runners-Up:

What do I want for Christmas? How about your hand off my ass, for starters. (MrglsJon@aol.com)

I consider this a verbal contract. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

My older sister said that the 'naughty girls' get better presents, Santa. Is that true? (AhOLHOL@aol.com)

Elves don't make vibrators? (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

What do you mean what do I want for Christmas? Don't you remember? I just told you when I saw you at the other end of the mall 5 minutes ago. (witsend@sevinex.com)

Is that the lump of coal in your pocket, Mr. Santa? (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Santa, you're overweight, you've got those red cheeks and your clothes are outdated. I think it's time you go on "Extreme Makeover." (witsend@sevinex.com)

Santa....shouldn't you be writing all this down? (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

Could you kindly include a dated sales receipt in with each gift this year? No offense, but sometimes your taste sucks. (redbarron1010@aol.com)

World peace is nice and all, but what I really want is instant boobs like Britney's. (chharget@aol.com)

The REAL Santa wouldn't say "Fat chance, kid." (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

All I want for Christmas is my two front teats, D cup, please. (lacee7700@aol.com)

B : "Is it really cold at the North Pole and do you have to worry about polar bears why doesn't a polar bear help pull the sled aren't they stronger than reindeer I want a pony are ponies as strong as reindeer oh but they don't fly so that wouldn't work...." Caption: Santa considers a new career as an axe murderer. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

I know you're just a homeless man doing this little gig for beer money, but let's play out this little farce anyway. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)