(16 Jun 04)

The winner: fparsons@yahoo.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 30%
fparsons: 70%

The Runners-Up:

"Did I say anal probe? I meant dancing strippers. Right this way Sir." (Gambleandbluff@aol.com)

"Hi, I'm Gorlack from the planet Vosnu. My wife Sulak here says I never stop and ask directions. Prove her wrong and tell me how to get to Vlinka." (Brenn53@aol.com)

"Trick Or Treat" squealed these two young creatures. Phillip sensed that something was wrong. It was the middle of January! And why did his anus hurt? (Gambleandbluff@aol.com)

Aliens: "And then we stopped in Washington DC to do some anal probing but they all had their heads in the way." (fparsons@yahoo.com)

"Can you help us settle a bet? I say TV is punishment to drive your people back to work, and she says it's how you distract your insane." (chharget@aol.com)

"Legal matters are alien...um...foreign to everyone." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

A. "Excuse me, sir..you gotta be this tall to ride..not to mention bald, green and with feelers poppin' outta your head..." B. "Well, I..a..ummm..???..." (allen018@aol.com)

"We're looking for recruits for our basketball team. Looks like anyone on this planet will do!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

A: "...so I said, 'Stand on your own two feet'..." B: "And THAT's when I knew I had him!" Caption: Even Aliens come the United States to pursue discrimination cases. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

"We came to your planet to create wars, violence and mayhem...obviously someone beat us to it!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Pull my pseudopod...see what happens." (chharget@aol.com)

"Look, they have slimy creatures on earth too!" (mrxsanmanx@yahoo.com)

"Remember that hot summer night in Roswell? Meet our love child." (deweyever@attbi.com)

"We've come to take back all the oil we left thousands of years ago, you still have it right?" (endocrom@aol.com)

"Can you please introduce us to this Captain Kirk? We've heard he'll have sex with anything." (chharget@aol.com)

Right then and there, Mr. Jenkins promised himself to NEVER smoke weed again. (Gambleandbluff@aol.com)

"Take us to the Fox Network, We have a great idea for a reality show!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

"That Zxigsna, always hitting on anybody with pants! You can't stop her!" (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"Hold it right there! We don't allow weird, ugly looking people on our flights!" (theibox@aol.com)

Alien one: "Take us to your leader." Alien two: "Screw that, take us to Paris Hilton." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

"We can't believe you have Starbucks here, too!" (skibip@aol.com)

"Can we interest you in a wild night of sex, then an important role as an egg carrier?" (chharget@aol.com)

"Passport? What passport?" (thdc178@aol.com)