(16 May 04)

The winner: philden82@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 17%
philden82: 83%

The Runners-Up:

"Hmph. I know someone who is not going to win the Techcorp Spirit Award this quarter." (robtone247@yahoo.com)

It was then Macaulay Culkin remembered you couldn't kill lawyers without silver bullets, and his quest to free Michael Jackson would inevitably fail. (stargl@sbcglobal.net)

"Hey, moron. This is a SPERM bank!" (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com; zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

"This anger management meeting is now adjourned!" (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

"Jesus, Ted...it's not like this was the FIRST time he slept with your wife." (lanny888@yahoo.com)

"Well, John, I guess that wasn't a banana in his pocket." (lacee7700@aol.com)

"Are you crazy? Trying to influence a gun control case with a gun?" (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

This marriage counseling session was progressing better the previous one... (deweyever@attbi.com)

"Well of course he's disgruntled...you were the one who suggested the perm." (robtone247@yahoo.com)

"Put it away, bailiff. 'Hostile witness' is just an expression." (murdoctor@aol.com)

"So you're the clown that tries to blow people away with a hair dryer!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

"I'm telling you again, Ernie, you're wrong. If you shoot Luke in front of me, it does not constitute attorney/client privileged information. I will have to report you to the proper authorities." (pjb1671@netscape.net)

"You can't rob OPEC at gunpoint, sir. We don't actually keep any gas here." (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

"I told him there was a penalty for early withdrawal!" (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

"Your Honor, I'm going to prove to the court that Exhibit 'A' really does fire." (wbarn2000@yahoo.com)

"Well, I saw this one coming: the downside of gay marriage -- gay divorce." (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

"Listen Winston, the first rule of banking is that they can't reach for their wallets if their hands are in the air." (skibip@aol.com)

"Benson, even if Woods has been stealing your lunches from the refrigerator, didn't law school give you ANY other ideas for addressing the issue?" (chharget@aol.com)

"Can't we finish one trial before we start another?" (WJKbase@aol.com)

Stu never thought that the try-out for the new Depends adult diapers would go this far. (SevenButterflies@hotmail.com)

"I said I'd allow you to fire questions at this witness, but questionable firing is not allowed in my courtroom." (tackajoey@aol.com)