(18 Jul 04)

The winner: rochford@netaus.net.au...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 66%
rochford: 34%

Well, we had a few "pick on Stu's artistic ability" entries this time around...as...well, the standing cartoon guy did look like he was missing a mouth (it has since been added) and floating a tad. But Stu is more than a good sport and remember...Little Orphan Annie didn't have pupils and they ended up doing a Broadway show about her.

The Runners-Up:

"They're called 'books,' Mr. President. People read them." (julie@blackbox.elsewhere.org)

"Johnson, where's your mouth?....Don't just stand there, answer me!" (phil@aol.com)

"No, the last copy of The Lord of the Rings has already been checked out of the library. In other words, 'Elvish' has left the building." (Brenn53@aol.com)

Steve frantically tried to explain that he could not have talked in the library as he had no mouth. (farmermaslen@hotmail.com)

"C'mon, Johnson, keep a stiff upper lip! Oh, sorry, I forgot you don't have lips." (stan@squidworks.com)

"How can you suck up to me, Smedley, if you have no mouth?" (skibip@aol.com)

"Well ..lucky for you this is a written test and not an oral one ..." (allen018@aol.com)

"NO! My name is not 'Bookman' and I'm not a 'library cop.'" (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

It's the first day on the job for Dennis the Menace. Meet your new boss, Mr. Wilson! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

"So then the guy said he'd take no more of your lip... then what?" (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

"Yes, this is the lending library Mr. Jones, but we lend books, not cash." (Rabdreadr@aol.com)

"Frankly, Wilson, the only reason I hired you is because you were drawn without a mouth. I figured that an employee who can't chitchat would be more productive." (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

"Don't think you can come in here, levitate two feet off the ground, and intimidate me." (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

"No, your wife isn't under my desk, I always have a guilty look on my face." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"No, Mr. Clinton, this is the Library of Congress and there is no 'adults only' section!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

"I wish I had an origami figure for every time you opened your mouth, and something damned-near funny fell out!" Caption at bottom reads "Revisionist History of the Creation of HMO" (paracletus3@aol.com)

"Boy, some day I'm having! First, I die of a heart attack at my desk. Then, God sends down a frickin' TEMP to collect my soul!" (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

"No, you can't break for lunch, we're running behind. And besides, you don't have a mouth." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

"You're looking for a self-help book about keeping your feet on the ground?" (kayladykay@aol.com)

"Look $#!^head, for the last time...we don't have models giving away prizes for reading selected books!" (lacee7700@aol.com)

"No, Smith, you are not in the running to become partner this month. Or any other month." (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)