(18 May 03)

The winner: Hartspill@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 72%
Hartspill: 28%

The Runners-Up:

"I have bad news and good news. You still get the electric chair...but I got the voltage reduced." (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

"I tell ya ... it's the last time I hire an attorney from the firm 'Wilby, Foun, and D'Gilty'!" (Frostygator1@aol.com)

"You go on ahead, my ass still hurts." (MrDelbo@aol.com)

"Yeah, I'm in for killing an old lady... uh...I mean an enormous insane man who was trying to kill my wife." (Bob9514@aol.com)

"Oh my God, I can't go when anyone is in the same room!!!!!!!!!!" (stevro47@aol.com)

"I'm really sorry, but I'm already someone else's bitch." (StanYan1@aol.com)

"I mean, it was just a MATTRESS TAG! I removed it and a SWAT team came in!" (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

"What?! No toidy shields??" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

A: "O.K. double or nothing... we'll play "rock, paper, scissors," for the toilet paper." CAPTION: Budget cuts affect prisoners quality of life (Twodubbyaz@aol.com)

"I guess we should have known better when the Realtor said he had a studio apartment with a half bath for $250 a month". (Georges101@aol.com)

"A pay toilet! Buddy, please, say you have a quarter!" (moonbunch01@aol.com)

"How about ...... it's yours on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and mine on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays ........... " (TZMAC@aol.com)

"Normally I'd tell you not to go in there for a while...but in this case..." (KatSut78@aol.com)

"You lied to me your wife is a rotten lay. Give me back my $100." (NITRAMXX@AOL.COM)

"I know you're an environmentalist, but isn't that taking things a little too far? I mean, I thought if it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." (e-merlin@sio.midco.net)

"My lawyer says in another six months I'll get toilet paper." (moonbunch01@aol.com)

"You wore that yesterday, didn't you?" (WJKbase@aol.com)

"OH NO! It was next month that my mother-in-law was coming to visit!" (rreese50@bellsouth.net)