(18 Oct 05)

The winner: cmndrnineveh@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:



Voting Results:
Stu: 74%
cmndrnineveh: 26%

The Runners-Up:

"Phil, sex will just have to wait until Nancy Drew gets out of this pickle." (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

"Bob...what's another word for 'flaccid'?" (GoogleMe@yahoo.com)

"It says here that a woman should tell her husband exactly what she wants. Can you hold on a minute while I call him?" (moonbunch01@aol.com)

"I told you we could do it when I finished reading the Kama Sutra, and since I don't understand Sanskrit, it might be awhile." (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

"I want to read. You want to have sex. I want to have sex. You want to read. We're never on the same page are we?" (tpanner@hotmail.com)

"It turns out I was holding the manual upside down the whole time." (moonbunch01@aol.com)

Woman telling the man: "Just because I didn't lose my place doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the sex." (dennisilvr@aol.com)

She: "It's called 'The Burning Bed', why do you ask?" (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Woman: "This book says there are 349 different sex positions." Man: "Planned or accidental?" (maxcel200@aol.com)

Woman: "Stop touching me! I'm trying to read about how to improve our sex life." (stan@squidworks.com)

"No, you don't look a THING like Craig Ferguson, even when you are full of scotch!" (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Man saying to woman: "You don't have your glasses on OR your contacts in. I think you're just stalling." (dennisilvr@aol.com)

"You would stop reading if I could arise to WHAT occasion?" (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"Dr. Phil says in here that part of your problem is that you need to sleep in the guest room." (holtbolt@comcast.net)

"I was thinking... since you no longer seem to feel the 'earth move beneath you', maybe you should move to California!" (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Woman: "Fred, you should know by now my Book of the Month Club novel comes every 30 days." Man: "Yeah, I know the feeling." (maxcel200@aol.com)

Woman: "Have you been lying to me? There are no articles in this magazine!" (randy@randypeterman.com)