(20 Jan 03)

The winner: bongobill0767@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 41%
Bongobill0767: 59%

The Runners-Up:

"Hee hee hee... I said 'penal code'... hee hee... hee hee hee... " (RodentsRRed@hotmail.com)

"Let's make it snappy; I get paid by the hour, and my client is running out of funds!" (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"If any of you have any time during our break..I could use some help with the research of this case." (bongobill0767@aol.com)

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I cite episode #41 of Perry Mason to show you my client is innocent." (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

"I'm only here because they said there'd be donuts." (hunterj@iwon.com)

"Sure OJ did it.. but a 'not guilty' verdict and we all get book deals..." (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am getting paid by the word so this may take a while!" (avit.web@verizon.net)

"We're having a 'blue light special' on plea bargains today." (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

"Hey? Who are you guys?!?" (jedvsjed@aol.com)

"So members of the court, by virtue of the fact that my client hired me -- a 'discount lawyer' -- to defend him in a case of this magnitude, you must find him 'not guilty by reason of insanity.'" (StanYan1@aol.com)

"Obviously the prosecutor is trying to brainwash us all and take over the world." (flynnkj19@aol.com)

"Everything that other guy said is a bunch of lies. Thank you very much." (bongobill0767@aol.com)

Wow! For $25, you too can be a lawyer at LawDegree.com. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

"When they asked if I would do this Pro-Bono, I said, 'I guess -- Sonny was cool but I would prefer my Cher.'" (fparsons@yahoo.com)

"Lots of people play dumb. My client is not playing." (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

"I have a bid on a 10-year-sentence for my client! Can I get a lower bid? 5 years? Yes! Sold to Juror #2 for a 5-year-sentence!!" (Rughar@aol.com)