(26 Oct 04)

The winner: junkmailmagnet42@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 35%
junkmailmagnet42: 65%

The Runners-Up:

"Ya know, Fred, locking me up is not going to make me get back together with your sister." (saxonraerae7@aol.com)

"Hey, don't you know who I am? I'm Bill O'Reilly and I demand my phone-sex call." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

A: "Listen here! Joan River's hairdresser's pool guy is a friend of my cousin, and he knows Johnny Cochran personally" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

"This other inmate is asking me if I ever saw Deliverance." (chharget@aol.com)

"Look, I own Krispy Kreme. Let me go and you're set for life." (ahines3103@aol.com)

"Just go over there and take a nap, and I'll use a broomstick to fetch your keys... it always works on TV." (kamasushi@aol.com)

"If I'm on the friends and family plan, do I get extra phone calls?" (chharget@aol.com)

Man in cell: "For the last time, My name is Marty Steward." (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

"As a Senator, I make the laws but I don't have to abide by them!" (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

"I want my lawyer...Hey, I am my lawyer. In that case, I want my mommy!" (e-marlon@sio.midco.com)

"Didn't I see you at 'Al's Porn Shack' last week?" (moonbunch01@aol.com)

"Guard! There's a spider in here! Give me your gun so I can shoot it!" (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

"Hey did you know your head is turned completely backwards but your body is still facing forward? Is your neck double jointed? Does that hurt? Am I annoying you yet?" (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

"Even though I am Ashlee Simpson's manager, I swear I didn't know she was lip-synching." (lexkase@san.rr.com)