(2 May 03)

The winner: arnydgreat@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 29%
arnydgreat: 71%

The Runners-Up:

"I don't care what your wife told you to do with them, Viagra is NOT a suppository." (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

"Aww Dad, c'mon, I don't wanna know that you got hurt while having sex with Mom. Couldn't you just lied to me and said you fell off a ladder?" (Mistahtom@aol.com)

"I've taken the liberty of submitting your obituary for publication in tomorrow's newspaper." (edberger@aol.com)

"That rash will clear up in a day or two, but we're still working on a cure for 'ugly'." (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

"Oh, and one more thing. When entering the court room, limp on the OTHER LEG!" (BikeMike101@aol.com)

"For the last time, go away! I don't care if I'm the only doctor your insurance covers. I'm a gynecologist you idiot!" (mr_didgers@hotmail.com)

"The good news is that in 6 months, you won't need that cane anymore." (StanYan1@aol.com)

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jones we don't give refunds on plastic surgery, but with a little makeup you'll look great.." (fcapps@aol.com)

"The Viagra is merely an aid to the process.... landing a 'hot babe' is your own problem." (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

"I'm sorry, a warm, friendly bedside manner isn't included in your health insurance policy." (iRonni@msn.com)

"Here's a sure cure for that leg pain: Once you see your bill, you'll want to run away." (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

"I realize $10,000 seems a little steep for a cane, Mr. Thomas, but that shouldn't bother you, because you're feeling sleepy. Sleeeeepppyyy..." (gitarman9@aol.com)

"Sorry to tell you Mr. Perkins, but your wife, quote 'is leaving for a less uglier man' unquote." (Ness14701@aol.com)

"I'm afraid I have bad news, Mr. Jensen. Your test results give you 24 hours to live...and I've been trying to reach you since yesterday." (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

"Listen, Stu, Viagra won't do you any good. It's not designed to raise the dead!" (stevro47@aol.com)