(8 Sep 04)

The winner: chharget@aol.com...who will receive a signed cartoon rendering of their entry:

Stu's Original


Voting Results:
Stu: 34%
ccharget: 66%

The Runners-Up:

"Now that you have approached the bench, are you guys playing golf with me on Saturday?" (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

The judge's verdict really wiped the smirks off their faces. (xodox3000@hotmail.com)

"Once your gag order is finished you shall have your lips returned to you" (zcktomcat@aol.com)

Judge: "Roses are blue, violets are pink. You robbed a bank, it's 5 years in the clink!" Caption: A very bad poetic justice (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Although it's unusual, owing to the circumstances, I'll allow each counsel to mime their cases." (chharget@aol.com)

"What do you mean my eyes have no pupils...haven't you ever heard of blind justice?" (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"WHEN I SAY ORDER, YOU ARE NOT TO ANSWER WITH 'Two cheeseburgers and a milkshake, please.' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" (QuarterHorse06@aol.com)

"...when I ask you a question, counsel, you answer me!!!..Do you understand...well do ya?!!..Now where are my damn eyes?!" (allen018@aol.com)

"Don't try to get on my good side...I don't have one!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Beat it! This dumpster is for retrenched Senior Management types! (rochford@netaus.net.au)

"Just because I call a "side-bar" does NOT give you the right to sidle up here and order a "Dead Lawyer"! (paracletus3@aol.com)

"BAD VIBES? What the hell kind of defense is THAT?" (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

"I'm Judge Kramer, and I approved this verdict." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Judge: "How could you POSSIBLY be suing each other for slander?! Neither one of you has a mouth!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

"I said, if you said 'That's not what Judge Judy would do' one more time, that I'd rule against you. (ehross@aol.com)

Since this is the first gay marriage divorce, I am declaring that you both have joint custody of that bad hairpiece!" (steve_medel@oxy.com)

"My daughter, Juliet, requests that you come back without the benefit of legal counsel." (chharget@aol.com)

"The whoopie cushion was cute. The dribble glass was annoying. The squeaky gavel is just plain going too far!" (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)