(updated 13 Dec 06)  

Top Seventeen Excuses Britney Spears Has For Getting Caught Going 'Au Naturel' Lately

17. She read in the tabloids she had a nasty split...so she wants to dispel those rumors. (L1061S@go.com)

16. Just starting from scratch to come up with that right wardrobe for my comeback. (rod.renner@juno.com)

15. She's trying to set a "good" example for Paris Hilton. (YukiMerricoon@aol.com)

14. Career is bottoming out. (maxcel200@aol.com)

13. She wants to show everyone that the kitty hasn't been Fed lately. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

12. Thongs and G-strings are for grandmothers. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

11. She thought this would make it easier to turn the other cheek. (tphyll@aol.com)

10. I'm dumb-ass white trash...whatta ya expect? (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

9. To quell rumors claiming the reason Kevin and I split up was because I wore the pants in the family! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

8. She wanted to display the one part of her with some actual talent. (strontium901@juno.com)

7. It distracts the paparazzi from her unbuckled children in the car. (stan@squidworks.com)

6. Panties are so Nicole. (guitartexn@aol.com)

5. I told what's-his-name that I'M in charge now, so I'm going commander. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

4. When you realized you've been married to K-Fed, you can't help but feel like you've been F-Ked. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

3. My agent said people are sick of looking at my face. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

2. Got rid of one asshole...wants to show us she still has one left. (maxcel200@aol.com)

And if she keeps doing it...some other great catch is going to snatch her up...

1. She says her therapist told her it's natural to go thru a period of beaverment after getting divorced. (L1061S@go.com)