(updated 15 Sep 08)  

Top Ten Signs All American Adults Will Be Overweight By The Year 2048
(Suggested by maxcel200@aol.com)

10. The Baconator. (arlenekader@aol.com)

9. Current incarnation of "The X-Files" will feature an episode of Scully and Mulder tracing a mythical beast with a 30" waist. (seeker@vcoms.net)

8. The fact that 99% of us are over weight now. (grad2b2002@aol.com; chris@lthmedia.com)

7. Fewer entries are getting to HMO due to people not being able to reach the keyboard. (gerg17@comcast.net)

6. It won't matter. Isn't the world ending in 2012? (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com; retrometro@rogers.com)

5. Calista Flockhart will be dead by then. (skibip@aol.com)

4. Increasing popularity of the big booty. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

3. Makers of Bite-Size Institute members moving forward on redefinition project. (seeker@vcoms.net)

2. Constant improvement of the secret addictive ingredient in Doritos. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Who woulda thought it all boiled down to simple arithmetic...

1. Head of lettuce: $2.50, Box of 'Little Debbie Nutty Bars': $ 1.39.