(updated 17 Feb 05)  

Top Ten Perks To Having Insomnia

Well, yes, we know it's more time to send in entries to HMO...but that was TOO easy...speaking of too easy, I took the easy way out and picked 14. Just blame it on my continuous "since as far back as I can remember" insomnia problem.

14. Getting your name at the top of the leader board when those online game scores reset in the middle of the night. (Pootybrew@gooseoose.com)

13. No chance your wife will stab you in your sleep. (skibip@aol.com; tpanner@hotmail.com)

12. All night television screen flickerings keeps neighbors wondering what your up to..like, maybe you're a mad scientist who's creating monsters. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

11. Life seems to last longer because you're awake for more of it. (rod.renner@juno.com)

10. You can store spare change in those bags under your eyes. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

9. You wont get a visit from Freddy for a l'il while. (lol227@msn.com)

8. When you set your clock backward to Standard Time you're rewarded with one full extra hour of awakeness! (maxcel200@aol.com)

7. No need for expensive coffee habit. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

6. No pillow head. (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com; tpanner@hotmail.com)

5. Finally having the time to decide whether to slit your wrists in the bathtub or over the kitchen sink. (scalpel@aol.com)

4. Always get the best deals "for the next 10 callers" on 3:00 am infomercials. (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

3. I am nearly halfway thru reading everyone's myspace profiles. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

2. You can drive around town at 4:00 in the morning and pretend like you're in this really cool post-apocalyptic, Omega Man world where disease has killed everybody off. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

But dammit...I know you were daydreaming about her...

1. When you tell your wife "I did not sleep with that woman" she'll believe you. (skibip@aol.com)