(updated 19 Apr 05)  

Top Ten Things Overheard at Hugh Hefner's 80th Birthday Party

An extended list again because I've been such a sick slacker lately...

14. Look, Hef's birthday wish came true. He is Hugh Hefner. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

13. I understand two of those girlfriends of his are nurses, and one of the others is a prostate specialist.... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com; JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

12. Dude, you are way too old for Spring Break! (woactome@yahoo.com; w.kaer@att.net)

11. That wax sculpture of Hef is melting! No, wait, that IS Hef! (monacof@bellsouth.net)

10. Another ten years, he'll be ready for Anna Nicole Smith! (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

9. I'd like to thank Pfizer, the fine makers of Viagra, for without their contributions, I'd have no reason to be alive this long. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

8. Oh, for the love of God! CLOSE YOUR ROBE!!! (astae@paonline.com; tpanner@hotmail.com)

7. CLEAR! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

6. Hey… isn't that the Crypt Keeper from that scary show… Oh Sorry Mr. Hefner. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

5. The Grotto has that old man smell. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

4. The wrinkles make him ribbed for MY pleasure. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

3. No, Amber, we said blow out the candles. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

2. What are they having a party for, everyday's a damn birthday party for him. (L1061S@GO.COM)

Hey...it was kinda right before Easter...an honest mistake...

1. Oh for Christ's sake, Gramps, my name isn't "Bunny"! (bhsmrtgrrl@yahoo.com)