(updated 22 Mar 07)  

Top Ten Even More Unbelievable Turns of Events in The Paul McCartney/Heather Mills Divorce Proceedings

10. Mills is seeking custody of Ringo. (joseph-blevins@sbcglobal.net; TheEyeWit@yahoo.com)

9. Michael Jackson is called in as a character witness....and a character. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

8. Paul has said "it's a long and winding road" but he won't "listen to what the man says." As for Heather, he says "the bag across her shoulder makes her look a little like a military man." When asked when he hoped the divorce would be finalized he said "Yesterday." (skibip@aol.com)

7. While Mills states both she and McCartney are strict vegetarians, she'd have absolutely no qualms about taking a big bite out of his wallet since it's not actually made of leather. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)

6. Paul's claims that Heather was always binge eating were totally unfounded...turns out she has a hollow leg after all. (CaptCrazee@gmail.com)

5. More unbelievable than going on 'Dancing With The Stars'? I'll get back to you... (irochford@optusnet.com.au)

4. Turns out, all you need is love... and a good lawyer. (tainsam@aol.com)

3. Heather's assertion that Paul is so obsessed with his knighthood that he demand she phrase it "Please, Sir, I want some more" each time her legal team turns down yet another offer. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)

2. Paul just wanted to win a $20 bet he made with Yoko...she said the marriage wouldn't last a year. (CaptCrazee@gmail.com)

And everyone thought he was stupid for not doing a pre-nup...

1. Paul is claiming the marriage was never valid, since everyone knows he died in 1969. (joseph-blevins@sbcglobal.net)