(updated 27 Apr 05)  

Top Ten Ways President Bush Can Boost His Approval Rating

10. Resign. (Mistahtom@aol.com; WJKbase@aol.com; 158 others)

9. Tell Tom Cruise to just shut the f**k up! We're all tired of him, for God's sake. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

8. Make gas affordable. No, seriously. (cdmauger@aol.com)

7. Rent out the 'twins' for Bachelor parties, etc. (jdcoops3@aol.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

6. Invade France. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

5. Go quail hunting with Cheney. (stan@squidworks.com; JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

4. Have the pollsters only talk to rich people. (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

3. The new White House press secretary: Carmen Electra. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

2. Free cars for EVERYBODY! (Hey, it worked for Oprah) (Chick65@aol.com)

Oh...like he could fool a bunch of people into thinking he...oh wait...

1. Reassure everyone that he's not actually making any of the "hard" decisions. (tpanner@hotmail.com)