(updated 28 Jan 09)  

Top Ten HMO New Year's Resolutions

First, the whiners...then the winners:

We actually resolved to update each and every contest here once a week in 09, but, then again the staff here at HMO have also resolved to finally making pigs fly by the year 2012! (davidgotribe@aol.com) Oh...you are funny - like we really have a "staff".

We will update contests BEFORE we make next year's resolutions. (Truckerex@comcast.net) Smartass.

I vow to win Top Ten at least once per week... wait, they don't update that often. (motorbreath2000@aol.com) Yeah, I'll get my "staff" right on it.

More nurse's aids with band aids and Aspirin - less of those expensive doctor people. (flynnkj19@aol.com) No no no - you've got the wrong HMO there...here's the right one...

10. To ignore any entries that suggest that the entries should be updated more regularly. (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

9. I resolve only using the Internet with just my left hand this up and coming year! (MrMisterman@aol.com)

8. I will never spend more than 10 straight hours on YouTube . . . unless there's some new Judge Judy videos. (seeker@vcoms.net)

7. We promise to update our font color at least once a day. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

6. Pay off my credit cards and do something smart with my money, like invest in this Madoff Fund I saw on TV. (giuntas404@comcast.net)

5. Print off and read my BLOG entries aloud at the bus station from now on. Then people who are less fortunate (and can't afford a computer) can benefit from my incite & wisdom. (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

4. Finally hanging it all up and leaving it all up for you apes to decide! (MrMisterman@aol.com)

3. Being a computer geek who loves to party, my New Year's resolution is going to be at least 1600 x 1200, because last New Year's was nothing but a blur! (wamii_69@yahoo.com)

2. Not to do a "ReBa Reasons Craig Ferguson Made a Mistake By Not Marrying Mariann Simms". (maxcel200@aol.com)

We also resolve to pick less puns...

1. This year HMO is going to lose wait. By updating sooner. :) (mitchwatts@yahoo.com; maxcel200@aol.com)

 et periodic updates about contests and other HMO happenings sent straight to your email address. Keep in mind we won't overwhelm you with emails...perhaps one every week or two...or three. If you wouldn't mind, if you have never registered at the forum, please take a few moments to do so. If you need any help, please email me at Cadeaux@HumorMeOnline.com for assistance.

Mail will be sent from "nobody@hyperboards.com" and the subject line will be "HumorMeOnline Newsletter"...so if you have to "allow emails" from a certain address, please add that one. So be on the lookout for it as stated above, as it does not come straight from HMO because I'm using the forum board to send out the messages as it's much easier for me that way (you only have to add one name Vs me adding them all) - and I would sincerely appreciate it.

Thank you.