(updated 3 Dec 06)  

Top Eighteen Perks To Having A Mannequin As Your Spouse
(Suggested by AuntShecky711@aol.com)

18. ...you know those positions you could never quite talk a real one into... (bjjtoff@yahoo.com; MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

17. No back-seat driving AND you get to use the HOV lane. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

16. Two really can live as cheaply as one. (tphyll@aol.com)

15. You'll never find her in a muumuu, standing between you and the TV set and blocking the football game... (lilfishjean@comcast.net)

14. They can't bitch about my cooking. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

13. More intelligent than your average man. (grumpchong@gmail.com)

12. Doesn't mind being bored stiff... (j_perreaux@hotmail.com)

11. Because if your married to a blow-up doll. by the time you get her inflated you're too dizzy to take her dancing. (ldanby33@sympatico.ca)

10. It doesn't matter, I'll still lose all the arguments! (Jdoveraz@aol.com; rod.renner@juno.com)

9. Somewhat of a lesser chance it will cheat on you with Angelina Jolie. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

8. You actually can remove the stick from her ass. (scalpel@aol.com)

7. The next best thing to breaking into a morgue. (ltldollclaudia@yahoo.com)

6. Wood chipper = divorce. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

5. Too tall? Sand her down. Waist high will do. (guitartexn@aol.com)

4. Then, at least, there'd be an excuse for the dumb expressions. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

3. Screw off arms make it easier to take her shirt off. (holtbolt@comcast.net)

2. Will probably mean less pressure on you to do better on couples bowling night. (sootnmoopy@aol.com)

She has yet to crack a smile about it, tho...

1. The fun you'll get out of watching the expression on the face of the cashier at Barnes and Noble when you and she buy all those 'Books for Dummies'. (maxcel200@aol.com)