(updated 4 Feb 07)  

Top Twenty-one Questions to Ask Yourself Before Throwing a Neighbourhood Super Bowl Party

Okay, since it is Super Bowl XLI, I figured 41 entries would be a tad much...so I halved them up the best I could given the obvious...hopefully you'll get a kick out of the extras...


21. Will I be able to return this 60 inch plasma TV, the day after, no questions asked? (davidgotribe@aol.com)

20. Should we serve horse meat or bear? (jnmcda0@yahoo.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

19. Would they be upset with my rules: Super Bowl action only between Food Channel commercials? (maxcel200@aol.com)

18. Will anyone be interested in seeing Prince have a wardrobe malfunction? (marnieyeager@hotmail.com)

17. Do my Canadian neighbours care about US football? (rod.renner@juno.com; banks.del@gmail.com)

16. Will the game be over before the chili kicks in? (shep@compascable.net; luganrn77@yahoo.com)

15. Do I ask for help with body painting my backside to make it look like you're looking at the end of a football where all the stitching comes together, or do I just do it myself and make it a surprise when things start to get rowdy? (sootnmoopy@aol.com)

14. Will this party receive enough news coverage to appear on Humormeonline in the Mediacrity section? (tphyll@aol.com)

13. If I serve buffalo wings, will they expect my wife to dress like a Hooters waitress? (skibip@aol.com)

12. Should you limit the contestants in your planned 'John Madden Look-alike Contest' to just men? (maxcel200@aol.com)

11. Can I make a turducken using only tofu? (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)

10. Should I charge the guys admission so I can pay for the Beer Bellies I ordered online? (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

9. How will beer and pizza puke look on the family room carpet? (skibip@aol.com)

8. Can I get enough weed to fill the Super Bowl? (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

7. Will we have to blindfold the kids during half-time ceremonies? (humorbear@aol.com)

6. Is a "Six Foot Hoagie" big enough to satisfy everyone? (rltowler@aol.com)

5. Can I afford to have the house deloused afterwards? (Daphnethered@yahoo.com)

4. Why is everyone so quick to take my bets on New England? (lexkase@san.rr.com)

3. Is half-time a good time to tell everyone about Amway? (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com; humorbear@aol.com)

2. Do I even like watching Bowling on TV? (L1061S@go.com)

All I can suggest is: Don't ask...don't tell...

1. When should I tell my wife? (tphyll@aol.com)