(updated 5 Sep 06)  

Top Twenty Excuses Studio Execs Are Giving For 'Snakes On A Plane's' Low Box Office Figures

20. We have no excuse. We're out of ideas and reduced to making crap. (the_rog@yahoo.com)

19. The tragedy resulting from the "Find a Real Snake In Your Theater" contest kept many viewers at home. (scice@aol.com)

18. Well...it was a film before its time...viewers just weren't ready for such an advanced movie; that and the fact that everyone was obviously seeing 'Talladega Nights'.... (fade2black@aol.com)

17. A combination of penis envy and inferiority complex kept both sexes grounded. (strontium901@juno.com)

16. Unfortunately, their target audience - snakes - don't have any money to buy tickets...or wallets to put their money in...or pockets to put their wallets in...or hands to use their wallets. (Jdoveraz@aol.com)

15. Already rented 'Passenger 57'. Why watch it again? (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

14. How'd they get the snakes on the plane when I can't even carry on a tube of lipgloss? (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

13. They underestimated the intelligence of the American moviegoing public. They do, however, expect it to do well in France. (w0rdsm1th@aol.com)

12. That snake venom, man, it's box office poison! (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

11. Not one cameo by Indiana Jones. (YukiMericoon@aol.com)

10. Nobody wants to see a movie about an airplane full of lawyers unless it's going to crash. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

9. The title really didn't capture the true essence of the movie. (MissusMikeyD@aol.com; phil82@blueyonder.co.uk)

8. Lack of banter about the McDonalds menu in Amsterdam. (shep@compascable.net) Yes, don't send me mail...I know he meant 'Paris'...but it was still funny.

7. It really was better as a musical. (mimsydivine@earthlink.net)

6. Turns out people much prefer their snakes on helicopters. (JTulli@Juno.com)

5. Not enough motherf*@ckin' customers in those motherf*@ckin' theatres! (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

4. It bites. (murdoctor@aol.com)

3. Lack of pre-release exposure on the Internet. (shep@compascable.net)

2. Come on, do you have any idea how high we were when we greenlit this thing? (mikepena@verizon.net; NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

When will they ever realize..."flying monkeys = scary...flying snakes = not"...

1. Not enough snakes...more snakes in the sequel. (jaberwock@yahooy.com)