(updated 7 Apr 05)
Top Ten Hints you're TOO OLD for 'Spring Break'
(Topic Suggested by AuntShecky711@aol.com)
An extended list...because it's quite overdue and I liked too many to whittle it down to just 10.
16. Girls Gone Wild pixelized your boobs. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)
15. On the drive to the Spring Break location, you wonder aloud where the Burma Shave signs are. (email@example.com)
14. When you decide to go wild it just kinda makes everybody nauseous. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
13. Both your age and waistline are in the mid 40's. (email@example.com)
12. It's not a skull and crossbones tattoo--it's your head. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
11. You realize you're the one walking on the beach wearing brown socks with sandals!! (email@example.com)
10. There is a theory that you are never too old for spring break..................if this is you, you are too old. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
9. Your boobs are lower than George Busch's approval rating! (email@example.com)
8. Your belly ring just doesn't look cool with the gall bladder surgery scar. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
7. You still have the 8-tracks from your last spring break trip. (email@example.com)
6. When you do a striptease you like to start with your dentures. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
5. You're going for the seafood. (email@example.com)
4. Overwhelming urge to shout "Does your mother know you're doing that?". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
3. When you discover that 18 Jell-O shots combined with your blood pressure medication makes for a reeeeeeal nice buzz. (ThunderHorse68@aol.com)
2. You already LIVE in Florida. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
It's okay...as you'd fall asleep before you'd finish either anyway...
1. Your fantasy eighteen-year-old is a bottle of scotch. (email@example.com)