(updated 10 Apr 03)  

Top Ten Things Lisa Marie Presley Isn't Telling Us

10. Bubbles is actually a really hairy boy. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

9. Her secret desire is to beat Elizabeth Taylor in marriages. She's already beat out Jennifer Lopez... (brwneyedcuuty@aol.com)

8. She doesn't mind if you're cruel. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

7. "Yeah, dad's buried out in the yard like a dog... no wonder they called him 'King'". (penn@engineer.com)

6. Only married Nicolas Cage to squelch those "lesbian" rumors...well, it worked...for 108 days. (TryTitoNext@hasbeen.com)

5. She took singing lessons from Milli Vanilli. (jeriandgeo@aol.com)

4. Not only practices Scientology, but purchased the entire religion last year. (jlichtenstein@yahoo.com)

3. In a terrible mistake, he had plastic surgery to make his penis more like a white man's. (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

2. Her REAL dad is Elvis Costello. (guitartexn@aol.com)

Almost as creepy as the Liza/Gest one...but costing twice as much...

1. How much she got paid to kiss Michael Jackson at the awards show. (Ttifranks9@aol.com)