(updated 18 Dec 03)  

Top Ten Attractions at Max Baer Jr.'s (Jethro's) Proposed Beverly Hillbillies Mansion & Casino

10. The chips are really chips, cow chips that is, Texas briquettes... (william.fishburne@verizon.net; rod.renner@juno.com)

9. Siegfried and Jed. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

8. The longest combination of name that relative/spouse. "This is my mom/aunt/sister/grandma/half-sister Betty Lou." (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

7. Ellie Mae's "Crispy Critter" Buffet: All that you can slide down and keep thar! (AhOLHOL@aol.com)

6. The hotel detective is Barnaby Jones. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

5. Ellie Mae's wildlife paradise...Fulfill that childhood dream men of petting Ellie's beaver. (Dspur57098@aol.com)

4. Classes in Tai Kwon Bodine. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

3. Hookers that won't always service you, called "Ellie Mae, Ellie Mae Not"s (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

2. It may not be an attraction, but the restrooms will be labeled "HisWay", "HerWay", and "Hathaway". (guitartexn@aol.com)

And it's still more teeth than most of the players have...

1. Blackjack for people who can only count to 2. (straightarrow15@hotmail.com)