(updated 10 Feb 03)  

Top Ten Differences Between the Yellow and Orange National Security Alerts

10. 50% easier for The US to get what it wants from the UN under Orange. (FreeLooseDirt@sbcglobal.net)

9. They are the same except the "No Terrorist Allowed" Sign uses a Bold Font and the "No" is underlined... They also add the word "Please". (fparsons@yahoo.com)

8. Yellow: Cheney is telling W. what to do. Orange: Powell is telling W. what to do. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

7. The amount of CNN coverage they receive. (forms@beige.f2s.com)

6. Determines whether or not President Bush will wear his "Concerned" or "Troubled" tie. (kaylor@mail.com)

5. Police have moved from eating doughnuts in the coffee shop, to eating them in the squad car. (glen122@aol.com)

4. Ted Kennedy mixes his Vodka with OJ instead of Lemonade. (FreeLooseDirt@sbcglobal.net)

3. Yellow Alert: Hanes; Orange Alert: Depends (casstigator@yahoo.com)

2. Airport security now requires groping both testicles. (RWich928@aol.com)

I think WillyTheTunaFish has found where the difference really lies...

1. 15¢/gal. (WillyTheTunaFish@aol.com)